I just had to write this. I read someone’s blog and felt very saddened with that person’s comments about doctors. We are all entitled to our opinion, of course. But if something is said without proof, without justification, or just for the sake of satisfying someone’s anger, resentment or prejudiced views, I just cannot sit still and swallow it without being affected by it. The profession that I live by, breathe in, is something I respect, cherish dearly in my heart, despite all the anguish and ordeal I have to go through.
We, doctors, are not a bunch of stupid people.
To become doctors, one need to have a certain level of intelligence. That’s why only the best are chosen based on examination results. And during the course, one has to reach a certain standard to pass. Not just based on how much marks you score, but also how compassionate you are, how caring, how humane. We were taught to think fast, to handle emergencies, to be inquisitive, to be in charge of our emotions, to be respectful to fellow humans, to treat the patient as your own family. These qualities sometimes are not born with. But we doctors are trained to have and practise them.
Medical school was tough. The syllabus we had to complete, the labs we had to attend, the clinical tasks we have to fulfill. Our colleagues from other faculties enjoy a month semester break, we had only 2 weeks. Then three months end of the year break, we had only 6 weeks. On weekends, our friends were busy dating. We were in the wards, sharpening our clinical skills. Many succumbed along the way. A friend had a nervous breakdown and had to be admitted to the psychiatry ward. He was suicidal. A few others quit. A few more were asked to change their field.
Graduating was one of the happiest moment of our lives. But it was also the beginning of a longwinded journey, a nightmare we never imagined. Housemanship was much tougher.
It is not the same dealing with a real life situation, compared to reading them in text books. We were still in training. Although we became the house officers, we were treated worse than the amah or attendant. We were the lowest of medical fraternity. The officer title had no meaning whatsoever. I was unfortunate to work in HKL, for it was a hell hole. Yet, it also taught me the meaning of resilience.
Once I was in charge of a medical ward. It had 70 beds, which were full almost every other day. Our admissions would be 30 during good days, and can reach up to 50. Imagine having a hard time dealing with a single sick person, be it your relatives, or even dealing with a client. Multiply that with 100… No one can imagine it. No one.
We slept at 2 or 3am, we woke up at 5, because the ward round started at 6.30. ‘Dokter ni tak tidur ke…. Dokter kerja dari semalam yek, tak stop rehat ke? I just gave a tired smile when patient noticed I was wearing the same clothes from yesterday morning. Sometimes I was so tired, I dozed off while clerking the patient. If we were to choose between sleep and food, a good night sleep will be the absolute answer. Back then sleep was not a need, but a luxury. I’ve slept in patients empty beds, because the hostel was too far away. I have slept on the floor, because there was no room for us house officers in the ward. I guess we were stupid in a way, for letting ourselves be degraded that low.
So what if there is medical negligence? What if we cannot give a straight answer to inquisitive relatives? We were just too tired.
Then, becoming a medical officer cum the responsibilities. There is no more training, unless one is specializing, but one has to be in charge of the patients. Anything wrong, you’ll have to answer in court or to God even.
To err is human. And doctors are not robots. We do make mistakes. But not because we are stupid. The difference is, our mistakes have greater repercussion. That’s why it took us 5 years in medical schools, and another year as a house officer. The sole reason is to become safe doctors.
Doctors are not perfect. There are of course few black sheeps among us. Those with drinking troubles, those with marital break-ups, those with anger management problems. But we are not stupid.
There are a few levels of doctors in a hospital, even in a ward. The house officers, the medical officers, the senior registrars, the specialists and the consultants. All have their share of training, knowledge and experiences in certain fields. If you want to know in great details, talk to the specialist, coz they are more knowledgeable in their fields. Do not hog the house officers or even junior medical officers, for they may not know in depth of certain fields. And just because they cannot satisfy your queries, do not call them stupid. Even consultants do not have all the answers.
People always talk about slow services, rude medical staff. But we also had to endure verbal abuse, even physical abuse from the public. I could recall a few incidents. A patient saying profanities out loud when his appointment was postponed. The phone number that he gave us was wrong. We still gave him a new appointment, ironically he came back and acted as if nothing happened. A man kicked on one of our doors because his son was not attended fast enough. A colleague of mine who was pregnant, broke down and cried because she was so shocked by it.
Working in wards with all kinds of diseases, we, the medical staffs are most exposed to them. There are many doctors who contracted tuberculosis from patients. Even HIV from needle prick injuries. I remembered a friend who was pregnant at that time. She was pricked by the needle while trying to withdraw blood from a drug addict. She had to seek treatment.
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Doctors are not stupid. We are just foolish to endure all those hardships for the sake of our fellow human beings.
