The Letter

I found this letter in my mailbox today

**********

Dearest Marina,

It has been a long time since I last wrote to you. I`ve been concerned about you. Your health has been deteriorating. You`re shutting yourself out from the outside world. Are you in hibernation again??

Wake up girl!!!!! I know you are worried, upset and not feeling like yourself lately. But don`t do this to yourself.

I know you have been fascinated by this new hobby. Different isn`t it?? From the previous one. Like reading short stories ala Chicken Soup For The Soul. At least it is more educational. Learnt some big words. And yes…. you`ve started to write again.

It is a wonderful feeling to be able to share, to relate yourself to others, to spill out your heart`s content, to feel like you are part of the ‘gang’. I know you have been dreamy eyed since a little girl. But it is all superficial. And that`s reality!!!

Please don`t get carried away darling. I see that you`re addicted now. That has happened before with the previous one. You need the cold turkey treatment. Oh you bet your arse …..yessssss you do!!!!… No amount of nicotine patch can help you with this one. At the end of the day, you`ll have to answer to no one but thy self and of course, The Almighty.

Aaahhhh… and yes, that ‘other’ thing. Are you sure about it?? Stay sober. Don`t get drunk with the sweet promises, the empty hopes, the enchanting words. In the end, it is always you who end up hurt. Do you think its worth it?? Do you want to go through another emotional roller-coaster?? You`ve just patched that broken heart of yours. And that ‘gam gajah’ ain`t even dry yet.

It`s just not your nature to be selfish dear. Never hurt another person for the sake of your happiness. Remember, what goes around, comes around. Whatever that you do to others, it`ll get back at you, right smack in the face.

Dear girl,

I know you have been drifted and distracted. That is why I am here today. To give you that wake up call. I want you to read this everyday, before u sleep and the first thing after you wake up (of course after the doa and rituals).

Be more responsible to yourself.

Remember your mission. You have sweated it out for 7 years dear…. Been working like a log for the past 3 yrs… committed yourself in this institution for the past 2 ½ years. There are only 2 more years to go, then you can have a breather and move on. I know you don`t like to stay put in a place for long. Though KL has a lot to offer, with all its exotic eccentricities, after a while, it does get boring. Besides, nothing worth staying here for, huh??

Be strong, like you always have.

Take one step at a time. Live the day the best you can. Work hard, work smart. I know you`re not that studious type, but you`re here for the challenge, remember? You`ve set the goal. You`re not a quitter, Marina.

Be grateful with what you have.

For the air that you breathe.
For the good health.
For the family that loves you.
For the friends whom supported you. I know you envy them in silence. Good husbands and wives, nice homes, adorable kids. They have been there for you…well, maybe not all the time. But times when you needed them most. Z was there ransacking your house looking for your spare keys when your bag was stolen. H drove you to the police station in the middle of the night to make police report. C stayed with you at the hotel even though her hubby kept calling. Those meant something kan?? There are more people who love you than you`re aware of.
Be grateful for the job that u have. Many people would die for it. Though I honestly think many would change their minds if they only knew what this job is all about.
Be thankful for everything that you have, and for all the things you are going to have in the days to come. Insyaallah…

Be a better person.

Be less judgmental, less egoistic, less sarcastic, less bitter, less dreamy, less gullible, less temperamental, less emotional. Be more humble, more honest, more efficient, more trusting, more respectful, more loving, more generous. Be nicer, kinder to you and those around you.

Be a good servant to God.

Take care of your solat dear, for that is the essence of everything. Never forget to ask God for forgiveness. Do as much good to others, and pray that Allah will forgive your misdeeds, past, present and future.
I know you envy those who have travelled, seen other parts of the world. You feel like you`ve been cooped up, done nothing. But remember your trip to the Holy land? Not everyone has that privilege dear. If you were to die tomorrow, I am sure it is without any regrets.
Remember when the tears flowed hard the first time you saw Kaabah? Remember when you wrote your name at Jabbal Rahmah?? Remember that serene, tranquil feeling whenever you listen to the Azan in Masjidil Haram?
Never give up hope on God dear. He always listen. He has a peculiar way of doing things, in His own time. Everything happens for a reason. In the end, perhaps, you will understand.

Be a good daughter.

I know you have not always agreed with mak and abah. I know sometimes mak butting into your love life, and almost everything else, can be irritating and frustrating. When you were younger, you were vying for their attention but they were always too busy to notice. Now that you`ve grown up, it is them who couldn`t let go. But they have been your pillars, your second Kaabah. And for that you must cherish them with all your heart.

Be happy Marina….

I know life has not been all bed of roses. But with all the trials and tribulations, it makes you who you are today.


I think i`ll end my letter here. Hope you feel better. I shall come back whenever you need me, with ever good and comforting words.

Till we meet again.



Lots of love,

Yourself

Panasnyaaa....

The temperature now is getting hotter everyday, with the sun shining straight at the equator. Can`t imagine 40C by March??? That`s HOT. When i went to Mecca, it was 38C and mannn... that was already scorching.

I had the air-cond AND the fan full blast last night. Felt sleeping naked but sis was around. When i woke up, i found all 3 of them in my bed. Misha was sleeping near my tummy, Yibbe at my feet and Memeng near my head. Soooooooo.... cute. They felt the heat too.

If I Ain`t Got You....

Dunno why suddenly switched into the jiwang blues mode...

Maybe it`s just the mood.... on that particular time of day....

Maybe it`s the eclipse of the moon...

The memories that kept flooding back....


************

If I Ain`t Got You by Alicia Keys

Some people live for the fortune
Some people live just for the fame
Some people live for the power yeah
Some people live just to play the game
Some people think that the physical things
Define what's within
And I've been there before
But that life's a bore
So full of the superficial

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby

Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

Some people search for a fountain
The promises forever young
Some people need three dozen roses
And that's the only way to prove you love them

Hand me a world on a silver platter
And what good would it be?
With no one to share, with no one who truly cares for me

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby

Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you, you, you

Some people want it all
But I don't want nothing at all
If it ain't you baby
If I ain't got you baby

Some people want diamond rings
Some just want everything
But everything means nothing
If I ain't got you

If I ain't got you with me baby
Nothing in this whole wide world don't mean a thing
If I ain't got you with me baby

**********

If i ever find you baby....

The perfect wednesday..

I have laryingitis.... my voice croak

My first day working after a week leave... have to be on-call

EEEeeeeekkkkk eeeeekkkkkkk.... The car`s battery is dead

Sorry, your line has been disconnected..... My handphone is barred

(*sigh*)

A confession by an addict...

To love is good, to be loved is even better. That`s as far as the saying goes. Have I ever been in love?? Yes and no...

From the past relationships, I don`t think i`ve ever been REALLY in love. Sure I did have that warm, funny, fuzzy, cloud nine kinda feelings when I was in then so-called relationship. But were they just infatuation? Lust? Sexual curiosness? Momentary lapse of insanity? It ended far too soon everytime, for me to find out the answers.

**********

Some people are lucky in having found their true love. Some find this task a lifetime journey. Some already have it but take it for granted. Some would sacrifice, even die for it.

Sometimes love just tap you on the shoulder when you`re not looking. Sometimes it keeps running away, deluding your sanity, disappearing from the corners of your conscience.

**********

Being in love gives you that sense of belonging. Tells you that your existence is acknowledged by someone. That you`re worthy enough to be loved by another human being. That you`re a significant entity amongst the sea of people.

Tells you that you matter.

**********

Buses & Trains
by Bachelor Girl
album:
Hey Mom
Why didn't you tell me
Why didn't you teach me a thing or two
You just let me go
Out into the World
You never thought to share what you knew

Chorus
So I walked under a bus
I got hit by a train
Keep falling in love
Which is kinda the same
I've sunk out at sea
Crashed my car, gone insane
And it felt so good
I want to do it again

**********

Yeah…… Falling in love does feel like that.

Some people couldn`t resist chocolates. Some people couldn`t stop puffing ciggies. It`s bad for you, but u keep wanting more. Despite the emotional turmoil, the feel good feelings surpass all.

Is it just a phase, till i find my ‘true love’? Is it an obsession? Is it infatuation? Is it foolishness??

**********

My name is Marina… and i`m addicted to LOVE

The Guys Rules

*I got this from my e-mail...
*Maaaannnn.... Couldn't get anymore true than these...

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Flu Blues...

19.2.2005

Last day of convention…… urrgghhhh finally. Went to one lecture in the morning. The rest was too dry to swallow. Decided to go shopping instead. Went to Orchard Road and bought some stuff. Z said she has done buying, but still ended up with 3 bracelets and another dress for daughter. H wanted to get jewellery for her sis and toys for her kids. Me got myself some jewelleries too. Just enough to keep me happy going back to KL and not giving me headache when the credit card bill arrives.

We went from store to store….looking for the best bargain and wider selections…. Which eventually turned out to be not so dissimilar. Everything is almost a walking distance away in Singapore. And we found out the underpass was actually DIRTY!!!! Hah!! (to those who marveled at the cleanliness of Singapore city, don’t be too impressed). But trying to walk under the scorching sun, then into the airconditioned departmental store…. then out again, that really created havoc in my immune system…

I had been down with Flu since about 2 weeks prior to coming to Sg. Had completed the routine meds and was better….. till a night in Pan pacific luxurious room. Was it the change of weather?? The stuffy room?? I have no idea….. By day 2, I was coughing like a TB patient.

So, I stormed Watson and bought ubat batuk cap ibu dan anak, panadol with some flu reliever syrup, lozenges..... made a cocktail strong enough to kill a babirusa( an animal I saw at night safari). Thought of buying some antibiotics, but forgot about not being able to prescribe…. Shucks!!!!

Was feeling better till yesterday, when started having nose block again. And the cough progressed from bad to worse. I could feel each alveloli crackling everytime I coughed.

However, that still did not deter me from exploring Orchard road… or the night safari (will blog about it later). Took me 20 years to return here…. and looking at my current status (work demands, nil social life etc), probably will take another 20yrs to come again.

******************

Right now eyes too sleepy.... tongue too dry from breathing with mouth opened.... nose had failed on me.... fingers were numb....

20.2.2005 4.00am Pan Pacific Singapore

The Bus Ride....

15.2.2005

It was my second trip to Singapore. The first was way back when I was 11 years old. We had a family vacation. We couldn’t afford to have regular family vacation then. But abah had promised to take us there if I get 5As for my Penilaian Darjah Lima. And he stuck to his words. I still have some memories of that trip. The long bus ride, the tall buildings, the clean street, the train ride around Sentosa island… the fun we had as a family.

But this time, more than 20 years later, I came for a different reason. I had to attend a convention. Yup, work related. So, boring stuff. Since it was all sponsored, I braved myself to leave my 3 cats on the hands of my colleague, of course after orientating her and explaining in full details about my cats’ needs, habits, preferences and in short, their whole life stories.

We took the Nice2 bus from the old Railway Station. As one of the historic buildings in KL, I was surprised at how unkempt the place was. The surau was closed, the alleys were dinghy, the toilets were… yucckksss. People could get mugged in there, even raped and I’m not talking about the women.

It was the first time I had been in a double decked bus. The lower level was supposed to be the lounge area. But I think it had become a place for the second driver to sleep. No one seemed to be bothered to even enter there as the seats at the upper level were quite comfortable.

My riding bus days had actually ended a long time ago. Back when I was in boarding school, then undergraduate days, taking the bus was almost a ritual. Weekends, holidays, semester breaks…. After gaining confidence to brave the traffic and long distance drives (and of course the confidence from my parents in that matter), I have almost always driven the car. I don’t travel much. But I enjoy driving in the highways. It sort of gives me that feelings of freedom and control.

Back then, Pudu Raya was a familiar territory. The smell of the crowd, intermingled with the exhaust fumes, the black sods that blackened your face, the drumming of engines, the bored faces waiting on benches….

I’m not the type who fall asleep as soon as the engines starts, or munch away as if there is going to be famine tomorrow. I preferred to read. Some people would probably get motion sickness. But it kept me occupied and the distance felt shorter.

And when I don’t read, I’ll be looking out the window, enjoying the sceneries. How similar life passed us by. Like watching silent movie in black and white. Like looking out the window during bus rides….


**********

It was also the first time i knew my cellphone has roaming..... wuuhuuuuu!!!!!

Errrrr.....

Your Seduction Style: The Coquette

You are a pro at playing the age old game of hard to get. Your flirting style runs hot and cold, giving just enough to keep them chasing you. Independent and self-sufficient, you don't need any one person to make you complete. And that independence is exactly what makes people pursue you.

What Is Your Seduction Style?

Can i...

Can i be your rainbow
to add colours
to your life

Can i be your rain
to cool down
the heat of the day

Can i be your earth
to keep your feet
firmly on the ground

Can i be your air
till the last breath
death in despair

Can i be your fire
to unleash
this desire

Can i be your sea
my soul drowning
deep inside thee

Can i be your sand
for all the heartaches
i can mend

Can i be your stream
for this longing
that i scream

Can u be mine
till the end of time...

nursery rhyme

Air pasang pagi
Surut pukul lima
Nyonya bangun pagi
Siram pokok bunga

>>> Teaches one to bangun awal, and kena rajin buat kerja

Pokok bunga melur
Tanam tepi batas
Itik bertelur
Ayam menetas

>>> Ni sikit2 ada ala national geographic. Teaches about nature...

Cik Baba jatuh dalam parit
Cik Aminah ketawa jerit-jerit

>>> teaches gurau senda dalam alam rumahtangga.

Naik kereta api
Pergi Kuala lumpur

>>> a bit about geography jugak..

Dapat isteri cantik
Terselit celah dapur...pur...purr

>>> Terer orang tetua dulukan. Ajar nursery rhymes yang boleh dipakai both utk bebudak dan juga mak and bapak budak. Lepas dia explain dgn begitu bagusnya tentang alam semesta.... the moral of the story at the end...isteri lawa ni suka queen control. Sebab lelaki tu takut org lain ngorat bini dia, sanggup buat apa saja... Duk kat dapur 24 jam pun takpe.

Sungguh terer org dulu.... tabik brownies satu...

My baby youu..... Part 2

Misha was found at my doorstep a little more than a year ago. Like a black, furry fuzzball. But kalau tengok from another angle, a bit like tikus mondok. Not the small house rats tu, but that big tikus mondok yang can grow the size of a cat!!! I have seen one or two…. Very fierce one….

My sister heard some meowing sound which we were both so allergic to. Couldn`t find the cure till this very day. We opened the door and found her staring at us. Her fur was soo bushy, macam long-haired cats yang ada breed, tapi unkempt. Most kittens have unkempt fur until they learn to lick themselves.

Adik: Eeeeiiiiii…… cutenyaaaa. Ayong tengok niiii…..

Me: Mana pi mak dia??? ( perhati kat luar )

Adik: Entah…. Takde pun. Kesian dia, siapa la yang buang ni. Pastu betul-betul depan rumah kita pulak tu???

Me: Ok jugak, boleh jadi member Memeng…. Dua-dua betina.


That night, Misha Omar won the Juara Lagu with that `meneran` song Bunga-bunga Cinta.

Me: Haaaaaaaaaa….. kita kasi nama dia Misha nak??

Adik: Aparaaaa Misha. Jiwangnya…. Tak padan dgn muka dia sebelah hitam, sebelah kuning.

Me: Weeeeiiiiii… suka hati la nak kasi nama apa. Ayong jugak yg kena beli makan dia, pasir dia….

Thus the name….

Misha fell right at home when we took her in. She became Memeng`s partner in crime…. Scratching the sofa…. Climbing the almari …. Took turns jumping on my me while I`m asleep on the sofa…. Chew on my notes…. Terbalikkan tong sampah….. Rebut with memeng to occupy the sejadah when I pray, exactly kat tempat I nak sujud pulak tu. (When they were smaller, memeng likes to bergayut kat telekung I macam tarzan masa I solat. Now dah too heavy…..)

Although Misha is the smallest of the three, and the most manja….. she is also the most garang . Cannot play-play with her. Even the vet said so after her operation (both misha and memeng have been neutered). Aiyoooo… this cat is the so the very garang one laaa (like her momma la sometimes kekekekeke).

Misha reached puberty around 6 months old. At that time, my house dah turned into cats brothel. Adeeeiiiiii…. Got so many male cats mengaukkk aukkk outside. Soooo noisy. And misha also so menggatal duk tergolek2 belakang pintu. Dunno how but tetiba je dah bunting. Nasib baik Memeng pekak. Kalau tak dia pun duk sekali mengaukk aukkk…..

Hmmm…. Misha ni quite small. Dalam 3.4kg le gitu. Ala-ala berat baby baru lahir yg ideal la. Masa dia pregnant, kejap2 baring. Bawak budak la katakan… She liked to sleep in the bathroom. Panas kut…. Orang pregnant memang badan panas…. Agaknye la, me don`t have the experience (although pernah la menyambut beberapa puluh baby during my training years). Due to her pint size, I agak ni paling banyak pun 3 je baby dia….. tup..tup… 5 you…. Masyaallah. Dah la yg first tu I yg kena tarik, coz dia tak reti nak push out… Two of her babies died due to illness, 2 lagi was given away. And tinggal satu with my dad, seekor jantan yg gay called Nino.

Yesterday, Misha gone AWOL. Letih me mencari for 2 days. Habis rata semua blok I round. She came back at 12.25am last night…. It was raining heavily and she came home all wet and dirty. Penuh air hitam kat kaki dia. Jatuh longkang ke ape entah? I had a feeling she hid in the longkang and finally had to get out when it started raining. Patut la I tak jumpa dia…. Masa nak basuh kaki dia, habis keluar semua kuku and taring. Nasib baik tak kena scratch. Towelled her dry and she slept on the carpet in my room.

Misha ni hobi dia suka jilat2 bulu and control anggun and ayu all the time… Wonder where she got that trait from (*wink wink*) kekekekekekeke….


I`mmmmm too sexy for my mommaaa... too sexy for my momma.... too sexxxyyy yeaahhh... ( Misha aka Twoface.... The black patch divides her face exactly into two. Freak of nature?? or the perfect coordination of genetic assembly??)

Muuaasshhhhh...

Got this from quizzila...


You have a surprise kiss! Your partner is always
pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta no
where to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek
or more passionate embrace. super markets and
work places are your favorite places to attack
your loved one with all your love =p


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

Friday outing....

Today I decided to go out…

Misha has been missing since yesterday afternoon. I hope she comes back. I`m getting worried now. She usually doesn`t go far. Will do something to take my mind off worrying about Misha. She`s a capable cat. A tough cookie like her momma...

It was 10.11am. Traffic was excellent!!!!. The famous always-jam-packed Jalan Loke Yew was soooo lengang. I meant there were cars on the road, but I could drive at 70km/h without any hassle. The trip to KLCC took me a mere 10min (could get up to 30min even on Sunday).

It was almost 10.30am when I reached TGV. Wanted to watch Constatine. First show was at 10.30….. wuuhuuuuu… just at the nick of time. Got good seat, right at the back…. 3rd from left no 17. There was a Chinese couple sitting next to me… the guy kept shaking his legs… Maybe I should change seat if there`s anyone seating next to me (there were 2 more empty seats to my right). Iklan…iklan…iklan… Bored…. Aaahh ..a Malay couple came. Excuse me…. Do u mind if we change seats… The guy spoke: Errr … cannot aahhh. I osso want to go toilet. Aiyoooo…. The seat was only 3rd from the aisle laaa…. Cehhh… I should have changed earlier on. And the other guy kept shaking his legs…. Mannnn… if u wanna do it…. do it at home laaaaa, why in the cinemaaaa…

Finally, the show started. Hmmm…. Not too bad. Was trying not to drool at the sight of Keanu Reeves… then…. Crrkkssrcrrk (bunyi plastik)…. Krrupp….krruupp (munch munch) ….. ssluurrpppp…. Crrsskkk….. The Malay couple was munching keropok, popcorn and slurping cokes like it was their lunch. Weeeiii…. ganggu concentration betul. I wonder why people like to have `lunches` and `dinners` in the cinema. Lepas tu, litter everywhere. The sound of the plastic wrappers… and the keropok crunching are quite irritating. Kalau tak keluar bunyi takpe la jugak… And another thing….mobile phones…. Those yg tak switch off their phones tu satu hal… but whenever the mobile screen lits up, it can be quite distracting too since the cinema is very dark. Can see from miles away la…

Movie ended around 12.45pm. Two hours of Keanu Reeves…. aaaaahhh…..makes me hungry. Thought of going to Chillies, my favourite restaurant, alamak penuh la. At this hour KLCC dah full of people. Maybe go to foodcourt instead. Since it was renovated, I have not eaten there. Waahhh… the Picnic foodcourt looks more colourful. Settled for Sukothai… Chicken Green Curry ricebox pls… Ice lemon tea…. without the ice. Few minutes later…. Got rice fried with green curry instead… Ehh…sorry kak.. the girl who took the order apologized. (Being the usual nice me) Ermmm takpela….. Nasib baik food was edible. Funny thing was, as I sat down to eat…. I noticed a couple of mat salleh sitting near my table (there were few tables joined together). Then, another couple on my right. I looked further, another family of mat salleh. Near the booth, mat salleh jugak. Aiyak…. felt like in a foreign land pulak.

Hmmm…. What else to do. Walk….walk…walk…. Cenggcenggkecehhh….cenggceng keceehhhh…. ada lion dance. Reminds me of CNY back home in Sitiawan (majority of the population is Chinese). CNY eve will be filled with the sounds of firecrackers. I will usually keep all the cats in the room, takut la ada yg terkincit dengar bunyi firecrackers. It will go on like for hours…. Masa ni la all the earplugs will be sold out at the supermarket. Morning of CNY, the neighbours` lawn will be full of remnants of red firecrackers wrappers ( tapi yang tak bestnya, including our lawn and yours truly ni la yg kena sapu ). Then, there will be lion dance at my neighbours` houses. My sister and I will be watching from our verandah…. Lepas tu more firecrackers lagi.

Decided to go to cold storage…. bought grapes, apples and pears. Found the price to be a bit expensive here. Ahhhh….. found a magazine stall. Bought few mags on interior decorating…. Saw Cleo …. 100 ways to know if he is into you… bluugghhhh!!!!…

Went to Tower records…. Boring…. Times….. boringgg. Time to go home…. Paid parking ticket. Walked fast to the car…. got in… and locked the door. Pheewww…. Don`t wanna end up like `u know who`. Driving home was even better…. Bestnya kalau hari2 traffic kat KL macam ni. Smooth sailing je. Siap boleh stop kereta and golek2 atas jalan. Can`t imagine how lengang kalau Hari Raya….

On the way home, suddenly remembered, need to wash car. Detoured to Jayajusco. My fav place to shop. Left my keys at the car wash, then head to JJ. Uhhh… Hush puppies on sale….. bought a sandal (just couldn`t resist)… Walk ….. walk….. aaahhh carpets on sale…. no no…. walk on…. Cute blue decker hand held vacuum at RM99…. Bagus ni since my cats are shedding fur all over the house…. But already have a vacuum at home… will have to pass…. Walk..walk….decided to try the new shoes, just to soften it a bit. It has 2 ½ inches heels. After changing from my flat sandals, I realized I was walking funny, a bit tertonggek. Kekekekeke….

Half hour to go before I could get back to the car…. Pekena teh tarik kat food court. Hmm… nak pi mana lagi ni. Ahhhhh… baju. Went to the ladies dept. store….. tried this…eehhhmmm nice colour….tried that…. cantikkk…. in the end, bought few (will not tell how many…I`m a shopping freak *guilty*). By this time, the shoes felt more comfortable. Headed back home….


Clean car…. Wuuhuuuu… ( I send to car wash like every 2 -3 weeks, even up to a month bergantung kepada tahap kekotoran dan faktor masa ). Since the traffic is superb today, head to the pet shop behind Cheras Leisure Mall to get some catfood and litter sands.

Reached home around 4pm, Misha is still missing …..

Guardian angel...

I came upon this personality test in one of the blogs that i read. After answering a taxing 70 questions, i`m supposed to be this.... hmmmm...

Free report for: mimi Temparament: GUARDIAN

Guardians, are the cornerstone of society, for they are the temperament given to serving and preserving our most important social institutions. Guardians have natural talent in managing goods and services--from supervision to maintenance and supply--and they use all their skills to keep things running smoothly in their families, communities, schools, churches, hospitals, and businesses.
Guardians can have a lot of fun with their friends, but they are quite serious about their duties and responsibilities. Guardians take pride in being dependable and trustworthy; if there's a job to be done, they can be counted on to put their shoulder to the wheel. Guardians also believe in law and order, and sometimes worry that respect for authority, even a fundamental sense of right and wrong, is being lost. Perhaps this is why Guardians honor customs and traditions so strongly--they are familiar patterns that help bring stability to our modern, fast-paced world.
Practical and down-to-earth, Guardians believe in following the rules and cooperating with others. They are not very comfortable winging it or blazing new trails; working steadily within the system is the Guardian way, for in the long run loyalty, discipline, and teamwork get the job done right. Guardians are meticulous about schedules and have a sharp eye for proper procedures. They are cautious about change, even though they know that change can be healthy for an institution. Better to go slowly, they say, and look before you leap.
Guardians make up as much as 40 to 45 percent of the population.

The Four types of Guardians are:
Supervisors (ESTJ) | Protectors (ISFJ) | Inspectors (ISTJ) | Providers (ESFJ)
Which one are you?

I think i`ll settle for a guardian angel....

My stud.....

It was a hot, lazy Sunday. I found him sprawled in bed. He looked so peaceful, deep in the abyss of momentary slumber, seemed oblivious of his surroundings. I sneaked quietly and lay down beside him. I knew he could sense my presence but he kept his eyes closed.

I stroked his mane and he squirmed. I caressed his head, feeling that silky soft hair between my fingers.

I kissed his nose, the nose that loves my smell, that kisses me every morning to wake me up.

I brushed my lips against his ear… that listens to all my complaints… my nagging… my failures… my sorrows… my joy…

His ear twitched and he changed his position. He lay flat on his back, fully exposing his dangling `prized trophy` into the blazing afternoon sun. I laughed… darn you….

I moved even closer and stroke his stomach. I know he likes it very much. He opened his eyes and looked at me. Aaahhh… those soulful eyes that captured my heart. It was absolutely love at first sight. We knew we were meant for each other.

He is my sweetheart….

My confidante…..

My stud….

My cat….. yibbe.



Errr..... say whaattt???


Eat your heart out bebehhhh...

My Baby Youuuuu....... Part 1

My Baby youuuuu….

My favourite lagu by Marc Anthony.

I have 3 adorable babies…. Misha, Memeng and Yibbe. I adoreeee cats. Actually I love all furry animals… esp. mammals (sesiapa yg rasa diri dia furry tu watch outtttttttttttt!!!!!). Kakakakakaka….. I think it runs in the family, mostly my father`s side. My arwah Atuk suka bela kucing. Bangun pagi je tumbuk ikan bilis, pastu gaul dgn nasi. Masa tumbuk ikan bilis tu, kucing2 dia tunggu je keliling… like the meal was soooo delicious kalah IAMS, Science diet, Frieskies etc etc yg mahal2 tu laaaa….. And my abah`s sister pun suka kucing…. Cakap2 dgn kucing… kalau luka letak minyak gamat. My cousins, my uncles…. My abah pun memang sayang kat kucing. Mak kata `abah korang tu ada geliga kucing. Mana dia pergi kucing ikut`. I think it`s true la. As long as I can remember, my parent`s house tak pernah takde kucing. Kalau mati pun, kejap je dah ada kucing lain yg jadi permanent resident. Pastu semua manja dgn abah i. Kalau my abah solat, depa duk kat tepi sejadah. Pastu lepas tahiyat akhir sure naik atas riba abah. Abah pun kejung la sekejap tak sampai hati nak bangun. Tunggu sampai kucing tu bangun dulu, baru abah bangun. Kat my mum depa tak nak pulak.

Memeng was the first to become part of my life. Masa tu I dah duk kat KL setahun. Kat my apartment tu memang la banyak strays. Hari2 berusaha resist temptation nak kutip anak kucing. Bukan ape….. susah nak jaga. Apartment kecik and kerja tak tentu masa. Pastu my sis pulak pindah into my house when she continued her studies kat Uitm Shah Alam. And the story begun….

Di satu petang yg bening, waktu hujan renyai2. my sis saw memeng kat parking lot. Dia kecik lagi… kitten je. Mengiau punya la kuat. Basah dek hujan. Pastu nyaris2 tak dilanggar dek motor. My sis kesian so dia pun pi ambik. Mula2 letak bawah shades je…. Pastu kucing tu ikut dia. Dia pun bawak masuk rumah. Masa tu I tengok macam dah tinggal nyawa2 ikan je. Kurus kedengking kalah Ally McBeal.

Me: Laaaa… apasal bawak balik rumah. Dah nak mati tuuuu…. (tak tahan kalau tengok kucing mati walaupun dah jadi bangkai kat tepi jalan…..)

Adik: Alaaaa.. ayong takpe la. Nanti hujan berenti… letak balik dia kat luar.

Me: Hmmm…. Ok laaaa ( Takpe la kut, kalau mati pun at least in a safe, warm place)

Pastu we bungkus dia dalam towel, letak dalam bakul. Dia tido punya tido tak bangun2. Kejap2 my sis and I check, bernapas lagi ke tidak kucing ni??? After 2 days baru dia bangun, pastu my sis pun suap susu. Selang 2 – 3 hari dah boleh bangun, Tapi badan still weak, terhoyong-hayang dia datang gesel kat my kaki, macam Parkinson pun ade. Uisshhhh….. melt dah i.

Adik: Ayong… nak kasi nama apa. (haaa sudah…. Bila dah nak kasi nama ni, memang sah la nak bermastautin kat sini)

Tengok dia jalan menyenget tu macam org dah mereng….

Me: Kita kasi nama Memeng la…

Adik: Ada ke pulak Memeng…Macam nama Jawa je. Kasi la Bobby ke….

Me: Uisshhh commercial sgt tu….

Adik: Tompok ke….. Patches ke…. .

Me: Tu dah biasa sangat….

Adik: Memeng pun memeng laaa…. Miaauuuu auukkk auukk… eh apasal takde respon ayong??

Masa tu we both found out Memeng was deaf. Patut la dia ngiau bagai nak rak. And she still does. Kalau pepagi tu bowl dia dah empty, siap le… Blok depan pun boleh dengar suara dia. Kalau gaduh dgn kucing lain… memang suara dia la paling kuat. Masa dia `in heat` lagi le... weeiiii malu kat jiraannn laaaa!! Kalau tido, selagi I tak usik badan dia, dia tak bangun. Kalau I vacuum… kucing lain bertempiaran lari. Dia relax je…. Siap usik2 kepala vacuum tu.

So now dah besar. Berat pun dah 4.5kg. Naik senget bahu me sebelah bawak dia dalam carrier masa pi vet. Dia paling suka tido dalam kotak. Hari tu I bawak balik kotak nak isi some stuff, dia tidur sampai kotak tu jadi bulat ikut badan dia. Then I bawak balik kotak lain, dia yg rasmikan dulu tido kat dalam tu. Pastu kalau garu muntut dia, dia suka jilat2 kat kaki I pastu gigit2…. Eeiiii geliinyaaaa….( wish a man could do this to me too…. *sigh*)

Nanti sambung lagi…..


Memeng... the deaf one.


Cat in da box...

Stuck in the Park....

I moved to Cheras on May 2002. So found this apartment yang dekaattttt dgn tempat kerja. No jam... no toll.... sepelaung je.... kiranya kalau flush jamban tu boleh dengar la kan. Mula2 tu tak ramai org duk kat situ... kawasan baru bukak. Now apartments and condos dah macam cendawan tumbuh. So parking space pun makin tak cukup...

So this morning.... macam biasa terkocoh nak pi keje. Tukar litter dulu... basuh pinggan... etc etc. Pastu pi kat parking... uishhh terlupa pulak mana la i park kereta semalam. I don`t have a particular spot sbb kat situ free parking main redah je. Park `mana dan je le kome` macam kata org perak. Pastu nampak la sebijik kereta proton perdana hitam yg maha besar park depan kereta me. Kat sana double, triple parking tu perkara biasa la. I brushed my parking skill kat situ la. Straight parking.... muntut dulu... L parking... side... zigzag... semua reti dah.

Seperti biasa, those yg illegal parking ni akan angkat handbrake supaya boleh ditolak bila kereta lain yg kena blok tu nak keluar. I pun dgn napas panjang tolak la kereta tu. Van lagikan boleh ku tolak, inikan pulak proton perdana..... uuuuRRHhGgGGHHHHH... aikss... tak budge pun. I pun tengok handbrake.... sbb kengkadang ada yang bengong lupa nak tarik handbrake. Tarik dah... pastu.... ek eleehhhhhh tayar belakang dia pancit. Patut la bagai nak terkincit me menolak kereta. I try tolak lagi sampai nyaris2 nak tersungkur. Alamak... cam mana ni, dah lambat. Post op rounds hari ni... pastu ROP rounds pulak... klinik Paeds lagi.... habis laaaaa.....

Then ternampak la sekor mamat ni tengah betulkan enjin kereta ke ape. Masa tu dah panik lambat gi kerja ni... so i approached the guy.

Me: Errr.... bang. Boleh tolong tolak kereta tak bang?.... berat sangat le (dengan senyuman paling manis dan jelingan paling menawan ala Dunhill)

Mamat: Boleh... boleehhh... (tersengih2 mamat tu)

Pastu dia pun tolak... i perati je... tak tolong konon nak tengok kemachoannya. Tapi tak budge jugak... Bila muka dia dah macam nak terkincit, i pun tolong laaaaa...

Mamat: Uisshhh berat jugak ni...

Me: Bang... tayar belakang dia dah flat tu pasal la....

Mamat: Ooooooo.... (hampes tul la mamat ni)

Akhirnya dapat la jugak keluar lepas menolak lagi dua bijik kereta. Gitu la hari2 i exercise menolak sebijik dua kereta sebelum pi kerja. Kalau nasib baik... dapat Kancil je. Tu tolak dgn sebelah tangan je. Sesekali macam ni la.... van la... taxi..waja...merc pun ade... Lama2 boleh jadi body builder...

Poligamy....

About poligamy (I just had to write this)....:

One............. just nice
Two............. a handful
Three........... hazardous
Four............ Hara-kiri

Kekekekekeke..... :)

TMNet..... SUCKS!!!!

Dialing in and out, in and out for like 50 times within 5 minutes aint no fun!!!! If it has been sex, would have had multiple orgasm by now... Anyone knows the Tmnet hotline number?? Feels like killing someone....

My first blog

Never knew i would have a journal again. Used to have one many... many... years ago. Which reminded me how much i love the arts, writings, literature, poems, books.... Though life has been busy, but i think i would have some time to pen some things in here....

Today, saturday session was ok. Not as tense as usual. I think if all the professors are in good mood, all will be well. Then off to Sg. Besi to pick up the posters.... what a waste to go to singapore with 2 posters yet only as second author. But cant blame on anyone but myself. Green is definitely not my colour.

Finally got to go to IOI resort. Food was not as good as expected but worth the RM40 considering the time taken and the distance.

Tomorrow, work again. The house is in topsy turvy...... malasnyeeee nak kemas. Wish i have a service apartment... Datelines.... datelines!!!! Case reports.... posters.... SPSS datas....... aaaarrrgghhhhhhh........ EXAMS!!!!!

Need to check my blood pressure again....

Miss mak and abah. Dunno if i should go back home these long CNY holidays. Will give mak a call tonight. Road will be jammed.... not to forget last year.... accident on the way back to KL in the Plus highway.... dunno what happened to the girl... sure got it bad from her dad. Baru 20 yrs old and her father let her drive on the highway. I`m 31 and my parents still worry everytime i drive long distance.

Got to fix a date with Cik Suzy to come over to house to orientate her around the house. She`ll be babysitting the cats while i go to singapore for the symposium. Looking forward to Sg..... holidays yipeeeeee!!!! Alamak.... passport mana yek??

Being single....

Just got back from sunday rounds....

Called Mak this morning.... she still hasn`t given up her futile attempts to hook me up with some guys who of course are up to her 'standards'. Never failed to ask about my exes' and the probability of reconciliation which of course is nil. My cousin who is currently jobless is getting married. My other cousins who are much younger than me.. are married. What`s left of our family are those still schooling and even those in IPTs have bf and gf. Mak`s friends are mostly past the phase of marrying the kids off and now counting granchildren phase instead. I think she`ll be reaching the panic button soon. And abah... the coolest abah in the world. Once he gave me a phone number from a classified ad... lonely doc seeking friendship... urrgghhh excuse me abah.... I think Mak got into him too....

What`s so bad about being single?? I do agree... single, independent and happy is a questionable phrase. But it`s possible to a certain extent. Been independent all my life... err well almost... abah sometimes comes to the rescue.... love u abah :) Hey... i managed to fix my own sink, assembled my own computer... changed the doorknob... fixed the bed and drawers... blistered my hand from srewdriving the computer desk.... done lots of DIY.

Yeah... it does get lonely at times especially when u live alone. No man is an island... and this island is still recuperating from its worst tsunami.... Thank god for the cats. They make wonderful companion and entertaining. They do come with some responsibilites but better than staring at blank wall and idiot box all night.

Talking about cats, i watched misha and memeng playing this morning... chasing after a fake mouse held from the rope. I like to swing it around and they`ll chase like crazy. After a while it reminded me of something.... ME. Been chasing after something fake all this while. Within reach perhaps and yet it kept getting away.... The delusion of someone good for me out there?? Hmmm.....

Been in love... out of love (or whatever my interpretation of love was at the spur of the moment), been wooed and jilted, been rejecting and rejected.... been there, done that...... So what else is there to do?? I`m tired......

I think i`ll just continue living till the next tsunami strikes in.....