The Boss...

Tomorrow will be my last day in The Boss team (http://marinaseye.blogspot.com/2005/12/frozen-albino.html). I think i have braved the last 4 months with her rather victoriously.

Of course there were a few screw-ups here and there. But none major ones and they are all part and parcel of the process of learning.

I know some people will call me crazy, especially those who have worked with her and been in her team, but I do gonna miss her.

Despite all her viciousness and intimidating stares, I know deep down, she is a caring person. Though she tries very much not to show it. Hey, she loves cats like me!! And people who love animals are a gentle, loving bunch.

I guess our love for cats gave us something in common. Other than the fact that she is still single of course. So we exchange cat stories, healthcare tips etc. I even showed her the pictures of my cats on my handphone.

That sort of broke the barrier between a student and a teacher. She could be angry and shouted at the top of her voice at a junior doctor, yet could laugh with me at the next moment. Sometimes, that does create some jealousy among the other trainees.

My juniors all cowered behind me when they knew she was in a bad mood. Whenever they were in a tight spot, or a mistake have been made, they make sure I was around to cool things down.

I may not agree to some of her medical management as she is a tad bit conservative. But I respect her sharpness, her vast 20 years experience and her never ending quest for knowledge. Whenever she is in one of her best moods, she can be an excellent teacher.

I think she does trust me in some ways, without even me realising it. She let me do a lot of procedures and gave me the more difficult cases to handle. And I notice, she does pamper me a bit compared to other trainees. Maybe she has a soft spot for me.

I first got to know her in my fourth year medical undergraduate. Fate has it that 6 years later, I encountered her again. She has mellowed down over the years. Yet, she is still feared even by the heads of other departments.

To be able to talk about anything under the sun, laugh at silly stuffs, discuss serious medical problems with her, make me proud to have sailed an accumulated 13 months with her.

She will surely be missed, when I leave this institution.

Vu who???...

I guess to some people, love is nothing but just a word.

And the more often you say it, to too many people, the more it becomes meaningless.

But if you don’t say it at all, you’ll forget that the word ever existed in your vocabulary.

Then it’ll feel odd, sounds weird. And when someone utters the word to you, you’ll stare back, trying to comprehend the situation, trying to recall the meaning of the word vehemently.


To me, love is like déjà vu.

I have been in and out of love so many times. In fact, too many. Those feelings seem familiar, the word sounds familiar.

I recognize that lukewarm, fluffy, tingling sensation in my tummy. I notice that glow in my face, that neverending smiles. But was I really in love?

Was I ever in love?

When will my love be a jamais vu instead?

Berhenti Berharap...

To that someone...

Aku berhenti berharap
Dan menunggu datang gelap
Sampai nanti suatu saat
Tak ada cinta kudapat

Kenapa ada derita
Bila bahagia tercipta
Kenapa ada sang hitam
Bila putih menyenangkan

Aku pulang..
Tanpa dendam..
Kuterima kekalahanku

Aku pulang..
Tanpa dendam..
Kusalutkan kemenanganmu

Kau ajarkan aku bahagia
Kau ajarkan aku derita
Kau tunjukkan aku bahagia
Kau tunjukkan aku derita

Kau berikan aku bahagia
Kau berikan aku derita...

Aku berhenti berharap
Dan menunggu datang gelap
Sampai nanti suatu saat
Tak ada cinta kudapat

Yeah, it was just temporary. Nothing lasts. Not even love. Especially not love. Forget all those empty promises and sugary talks.

Now that the earth has turned full cycle, i am back to the beginning.

But this time... i am DONE hoping...

999...

This is my version of the TV3 programme 999...

This entry had been long overdue. I just bought a new Nokia 7360 with camera, infrared, GPRS etc. etc. But till very recently, i was not able to download the pictures. These were downloaded thru infrared, via my friend's laptop. Mine doesn't have infrared, and my plan to look for an infrared sensor at Low Yat seemed impossible. The USB cable for the Nokia costs RM249... erk!

If you had seen my evisceration pictures here http://marinaseye.blogspot.com/2005/12/cannibalingus.html, i must warn you, these are much worse.

Much... MUCH... worse...

Worse than Nang Nak...

Worse than them flood in Shah Alam...



It was very early in the morning, when the earth was still in bluish hue and the air fresh from the morning pollution...

The robbery caught him offguard. He was totally unaware... totally unprepared.

He was about to open the car door. He was planning to go to town N to meet some friends and buy some goods for his shop.

The action was so swift. He didn't feel any pain at first. Then his right vision suddenly turned pitch black.

He heard voices. His head felt heavy. He felt a thud. It was him falling down on the hard cement on his very own porch.

Then he saw the blood....

And more blood...

His right eye was slashed with a sharp object... most probably a parang. His face was mutilated. But he was still alive.



The eyeball was squished to a pulp. The anatomy disintergrated. The eye had become blind instantly.

It took me FIVE painstaking hours, to anastomose whatever was left. I was suturing, and re-suturing. Playing the image of the facial and ocular anatomy in my head. Hoping to salvage as much as i could.

It was not perfect, but at least i could re-form the eyeball. Though the intraocular structures were all destroyed.

And 2 weeks later...

It was worth the 5 hours. He was a lucky man indeed to still, be alive.