The Mishas...

This Misha Omar?


Or Misha my pus?

Nope…. Neither...

I am sure many have read about Perkahwinan Misyar recently.

After the uproar on the statement of janda gatal by one of the MALE minister in the Parliament, came another slap in the face to us women. It is not surprising that it came from another MALE, and a Professor for that matter.

It is no doubt that men are created with certain characteristics. They are hunters in nature, love sports and competitions, work well with tools and gadgets, and like to think of themselves as problem solvers. Even when the wife just need someone to listen to her woes, men tend to offer solutions, answers… even without being asked.

So, when perkahwinan misyar was suggested as a solution to reduce the number of singles, divorcees, jandas and to prevent illegal sexual excapades, I felt amused. It is so typical of men to try to solve, without analyzing the root of the problem first.

I thought the janda gatal thingy was the joke of the year, but this one deserves a standing ovation plus an Oscar.

Just because the Arabs do it, is it applicable in Malaysia? Just because Arabs don turbans and burqas, must we too?

It is said to be practiced among the rich Arab women. Do they know how difficult it is to get married in the Arab world? The dowry itself does not only rob a man of all his wealth, but his dignity and sanity too. So, the reason there are many single women over there is just simple math.

What make them think that us single women with good careers and financial independence would be craving for sex? So much so that we allow ourselves to be used and manipulated that way?

Women are unlike men. We do not think of sex like every 7 seconds. Men without sex for 2 days, become fidgety. A week, they act as if they should be awarded the Olympic gold medal. A month or during the wife confinement, they declare Armageddon.

Just ask the jandas… do they miss the sex part? How do they go about for years without a man in their lives? Their answers I can bet you would be… nope, we don’t miss what we don’t have…. Or… it was never satisfying in the first place. But of course, the perkahwinan misyar was suggested by the XY species, enough said.

As cited in the Holy Quran, the women are given 9 parts of lusts and only one part brain, while the men, 9 parts brain and 1 part lust. After they place 1 part on their ding-a-ling, 2 on their balls, and another 2 on their kepala lutut, it is no wonder nothing much is left between the 2 ears. What is hollow, remains hollow. *Pun very much intended.

The perkahwinan misyar requires that both party agree that the men will not be responsible for anything else other than nafkah batin or sex. Is that some kind of pre-nuptial agreement or perjanjian taklik?

So, what else should I include in the agreement? That there must be a regular schedule for sex… say 3 times a week? Or whenever I feel horny? Must I include… the various positions desired? Must i put it in clause that the big O must be reached and multiple ones too? What if the guy is a 3 minute or worse, 1 minute slam-bam-thank you-maam kinda guy? Can I divorce him if he does not fulfill the criteria? Suing the poor SOB is out of the question, as he does not worth a penny from the very beginning.

What makes men think that they can satisfy the women? Do they think that each one of them are godsend to us women? Then why women have to fake the big O? Most guys walk the talk, and talk cock. That’s what they do. They brag. The more they boast on their sexual prowess, or conquest, the more insecurities they try to hide.

We have heard so many wives complaining and bitching about the poor bedroom performance of their spouses. Why do these women stay on? To give the hubbies face or to prevent ego-destruction? Ever wonder why people create SpongeBob? Or why on occasions, the shower head looks tempting? Or why one can never look at cucumbers and carrots the same ever again?

Is this so-called agreement a money back guarantee thing? Perhaps a free 30 days trial or your money back? Then we can advertise it on Smart Shop between the Abdomizer and the Magic Blender ads.

What if there are kids in the picture? Will the husbands cuci tangan as much as they have cuci telur? Is that the kind of male role model they wanna potray to the kids? There are enough gender and domestic roles confusion among kids nowadays. Just look at the increasing trend of lelaki lembut, PLU or pengkid or whatever they call it.

What makes people think this perkahwinan misyar can reduce adultery? Just because someone is married, infidelities still happen, misyar or not.

All it does is legalise sex. That's it.

Polygamy sounds very daunting to the women. Why not make it sound more innocent, more tolerable, friendlier? Let's call it perkahwinan misyar.. eehh???

Do men think that single career women are a bunch of desperados? Just because we choose to be successful, must we be punished and judged?

Whenever I tell people that I am single, I always get the same remarks… Tu la memilih sangaattt… Hello? Do you simply pick a rotten apple in the supermarket just because it is the only one left? And who squeeze the tomatoes till they look mutilated? What’s wrong with being choosy? Life is full of choices. Choosing to choose or not, is a choice by itself.

Men always gleefully point out the fact of higher ratio of women compared to men. But look at the men we have left.

We have so many Mats out there. Mat Motor, Mat Rempit, Mat Rock, Mat Jiwang, Mat Dadah, Mat Gian, Mat Sotong, Mat Nyah, Mat Metro… just to name a few. After the introduction of perkahwinan misyar, I would like to add a few more… Mat Gigolo and Mat Dayus.

And to all the men who are clapping their hands in response to this issue, have you lost your baaaallllllssss?

One of the reasons why successful women remain single is because men feel intimidated by these powerhouse ladies. No way are they gonna woo these women. Well, at least these guys still have their egos checked. Otherwise men, just drooped your wrist and say...... aaaauuuuwwwwwwww!!!!

Women are smarter now. They know what is best for them. Certain standards are set. They want equally smart men or better. Someone whom they can have intelligent conversation with. Someone who can lead. Not someone who can only perform sex… (IF they can actually perform that is), nor someone who does nothing but dangles his dick till his misyar’s wife do the mating call.

So my dear Professor, rather than suggesting an easy way out like perkahwinan misyar, why not figure out ways to improve the quality of men??

And my advice to you guys out there, BUCK UP!

There are already many cases of irresponsible men and husbands. We have heard complaints of men not giving nafkah to ex-wife and the kids. Many wives are left alone digantung tak bertali. Perkahwinan misyar sadly, legalise this too.

I am not the best person to talk about relationships. I never had one that I am proud of. But I do know a thing or two about life.

Marriage is not the answer to everything. I may be naïve, but I believe marriage is to make someone happier, to make life more fulfilling. If it goes the other way round, then work hard to save it. And if all fails, leave.

Life without a man, is ain't that bad.

Friendships can be destroyed by the uncalled sudden urge of sexual lusts. Relationships based on sex, never lasts. Perkahwinan misyar or marriage based on sex, is, i believe, a lost cause.

I have had a few relationships before, which almost ended up at the altar. But I found myself trapped in misery. I realised that i was less misearable on my own. I ended them and so far, I have no regrets.

Mistakes are meant to be learnt. Whenever you fall, bounce back, get back to your feet, stronger and tougher. It is the ABC of survival. Failures make one stronger and wiser.

Just because I am still single in my 30s, it is not the end of the road for me. Just because I do not have a child of my own, that does not make me any less a woman.

I am not trying to be smug here, nor be obnoxiously arrogant, nor am I a feminist. I am just giving my 2 cents worth. It is my humble opinion, and it comes from the heart.

Ladies,

Be it the holy matrimony as witnessed by heavens, perkahwinan misyar, or a night of sexual rendezvous under the sheets, if a guy is not worth it, he is JUST NOT WORTH IT.

I rest my case…

NB: Just for extra reading...

Bidan Kucing...

There was never a point in my life where I do not have cats. I am always surrounded by felines, ever since I could remember.

Me surrounded with felines...

Everyone in my family loves cats… except Mak who is not really into it, but sometimes do enjoy watching the kitties at play and help feed them.

The love of felines generate from Abah’s side of family. I think it is inherited. Arwah Atok used to feed his cats with rice and pounded ikan bilis or anchovies. His cats will sit around the lesung, just waiting for him to finish pounding the ikan bilis, which was soaked in warm water first, so that it’ll turn soft and easier to pound.

Mak We, Abah’s elder sister and her children also love cats. I remember her nursing a wounded cat with minyak gamat till the cat was fully healed, and the time she swore not to have anymore cats when one of the cats died. I heard a week later, she found a new stray and took it in.

The number of cats we had were so many, it would have made SPCA proud.

Abah always taught us never to harm any other God creatures, be it animals, insects, plants unless it cause harm to us. If we are nice to God’s living creatures, those creatures will pray for you. If you feed the cats, they will pray for your prosperity, and so far rezeki tak pernah putus in my family. I think it is something like sedekah.

A person who loves animals, or any living creatures, I believe is someone who is loving and lovable. Only a kind heart would have a space for loving something that may be insignificant to others, like a cat.

Apart from playing midwife delivering human babies, and I had my share aplenty, I had countless time helped delivered many kitties. Helped pulled it out from mommy, helped massage the little creature till it breathed well as mommy was too tired, helped calmed down the anxious mommy… etc.

But when Baby, my female pus decided to give birth, it was so unexpected. I was unaware and unprepared.

Baby... preggie with pink and huge tits..

I remember her lying next to me in bed, like she always does. I was exhausted and went to sleep early as I had been having from bad to worse shitty days these past week. When I woke in the middle of the night, I saw her face directly in front of me, with her head lying on my elbow. Her face looked different, but I was too tired and drifted back to sleep.

When I woke up at the wee hour for subuh prayers, I heard the sound of small kitties meowing. I thought I was still in a limbo, between conciousness and deep REM sleep. I must be dreamin’, I thought… till I saw tiny pointed ears wriggling between Baby and the stained bolster.

Yeah, Baby gave birth right next to me… in my bed!!.

Her liquor was all over my kaftan and the bedsheet. She looked fine… and I saw 2 tiny, mouse like kittens sucking on her bosoms. Baby became a proud mama. And I was a proud Grandmama. Thank God.. there were only 2. They were born on 27.5.2006 somewhere between 2 – 5am. But I noticed Baby’s tummy was still big… ‘perhaps there are still more to come?’

Baby... the beaming momma!! And her 2 kitties... I think i know the father..

I waited… but there were no signs of anymore babies the whole day.

And boy was I wrong. Last night, I saw drops of blood on the floor. "Darah nifas kut"… I hope it was not infection, or delayed haemorrhage or anything like that. Baby’s tummy has flattened! Hmmmm…

Surprise… surprise… When I checked the kittens… I thought I saw a yellow head bobbing between the other 2 black heads. Aaaahhhh…. 3 kittens. I am proud of you Baby….

Oh…oh wait a minute… another head!! So the last head count was 4!!

Baby loves her newborns and takes very good care of them...

How can i call her baby when she has babies of her own ehh??

The black tompok-tompok ones. Aaawwwww..... How can you not melt??

Look at that pink nose!!!

Aaaaawwwwwwwww......

I put mommy and kitties in an old drawer, covered with old newspaper and my liquor-stained kaftan. I had to hide the kitties under my bed. Yesterday, i found CocoLee inside the drawer, 'playing' with the newborn. He was playfully biting and hitting the poor tiny tots as if they were that mouse toy i bought from Pet Wonderland.

I have 10 cats now…

I dunno why suddenly I have the urge to scratch myself, and them cat biscuits look delicious….

Meeeoooowwwwwww!!!!!...

Sad...

I am so sad.

Bawling my eyes out.

I have never felt so humiliated in my life before.

I was so angry, my fingers were trembling.

How can a person be so nice, then become so vicious and cruel just at a blink of an eye?

How can i be so foolish?

How can i let him make me feel this way?

I am angry.

No... not angry, I am sad.

So sad....

Bad Day...

A lot of things have happened these past few days. Work had been hectic, in fact killing me, almost. Was on-call for 2 consecutive days. Monday was busy… as I was the only senior around, running my own clinic and managing cases in casualty.

Yibbe my darling cat had been sick the last couple of days. He was pale, lost his appetite, depressed. On Sunday, I noticed he was staring blankly at his water bowl, but at that time the vet has closed. I was praying hard that he will last the night. I almost cried seeing him like that. How could I have been so ignorant? He survived that Parvovirus attack last year. But I am sure that would have affected his immune status. Can he survive this one? Whatever bug that has attacked him, was almost winning the battle.

After work, I rushed to the vet. It was blood parasite, from the fleas. I remembered spraying all the cats with anti-flea. How can he have any fleas? He has stopped roaming after the spay.

The vet took a peripheral blood film, and diagnosed the blood parasite. I think a few vets recognized me as I regularly bring my cats there for vaccinations and stuff, cat food etc. The last time I brought Yibbe, the vet asked me what I do. I told them, I am a human doctor but veterinarian was previously one of the choices for my future career. That brought smiles to everyone there.

The vet prescribed some medicine, but looking at Yibbe’s condition, I requested for him to be admitted, to start intravenous fluids, intravenous antibiotics, and to do more blood tests. Actually not requested, but demanded. I can be a difficult mommy sometimes.

Tuesday was even worse. I was missing my poor Yibbe, and worrying about him. I was on-call and the day was worse than Monday. An emergency case of a globe rupture came in. It needed surgery, and I anticipated a long one.

We finally managed to get anaesthesia at 11pm… the wound was very extensive. Took me 4 bloody hours, and that was with the help of my Specialist whom even with a young baby, agreed to come over at the wee hours to help out. God bless her for that.

I was sleepy and all pumped out. The tiredness from yesterday, and piles of work during the day, was taking its toll. But as doctors, we are supposed to serve. No matter what. We are not supposed to get tired, or get angry, or get sleepy. Patients are always the priority.

We finished at 3am… it was too late for me to drive home, and dangerous too. Anything can happen at the parking area, or on the way home. A colleague had her car rear hit by another at 11.30pm. What if it was a planned robbery? What if she got raped? Furthermore, at that hour, there won’t be any more parking space left at my apartment. But do people know about the hardship and the problems us medical personnel face, in order to serve the public? Nope, and they do not bother to know. We are supposed to shut up, face the harsh reality. The word money, or better salary, or better perks must never surface or we will sound materialistic and an ungrateful bunch.

I slept in the on-call room. Hardly slept anyway. Woke up at 6.30am… did my subuh, and drove home. Then back to work, rounds, more work. Luckily, afternoon was less hectic. I was not on-call, but the juniors did not spare me of course. I helped as much as I could, but I was groggy, my head was heavy, and I had raccoon eyes.

Yibbe can finally go home. So went to pick him up. Driving in my state was dangerous, and I was fighting to keep awake. But do I have any choice? Have to manage everything myself as usual.

Reached home at almost 4pm. I zonked out. I slept like a log, with Yibbe lying next to me. And all the other cats joined me in my bed. The air-cond was at full blast. The bed and pillows were so comforting. Woke up at 6pm. Damn… I missed my massage appointment. Had to reschedule. Went back to sleep…. Woke up at 10pm. Missed maghrib!! And missed half of American idol!! Dammmnnnn!!!! I was really, really looking forward to watch the finale. Only managed to watch the last half. I think Taylor aced it, but the soul patrol thing was irritating. Kat is as always, had the wrong songs except one.

Was online reading some blogs and discovered a shocking news about someone. Unable to get it off my mind, drifted to sleep with bad thoughts.

Today, I was hoping for a better day. The week is almost over. Yibbe looks better though not completely cured. Sis has gone back to hometown since Monday, so I had to tend to all the cats, healthy and sick.

Unfortunately, all my positive outlooks crashed to ground zero. Had a complication during operation. Though it was manageable and the harm was not that serious, I still felt like a shithead! Even Boss was ok with it.

“Don’t worry, it was part of the learning curve. Hey, at least it happened when I am around”

He was reassuring me, but I still felt bad. Too hard on myself perhaps?

And then the endless sms’es from that someone. I was simply pointing out a fact which may or may not be true. But he turned defensive and all riled up. Bullshit, gila bodoh, padan muka, patut la selalu kena tipu… yeah, those were his exact words. I was indeed stupid and crazy for falling for a man like that.

Then other Boss was complaining because I did not help him out in his clinic. He was creating so much havoc that even Ex-Boss knew about it. He had only 8 patients, and even that, only 4 turned up. FOUR F******G PATIENTS!!!!! What did he need me for?

The last time I helped him, he left me halfway, going off at 10.30am, and I was there till waaayyy past lunch hour sorting out his patients, and i am not even directly under his team. I knew he was pissed because he wanted to leave early, to cater for his own private clinic, in which he is earning much more than this stunted government hospital. Thank god, I am leaving this center soon. Tired with all the bureucracies.

I am pissed, i am knackered , my spirit is at the lowest of the low, and i could hear Daniel Powter crooning the song Bad Day in the background.

Sometimes the system goes on the bling

And the whole thing turns out wrong

You might not make it back and you know

That you could be well oh that strong

And I'm not wrong

Because you had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me don't lie

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

The camera don't lie

You're coming back down and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

YOU HAD A BAD DAY!!!!!

Manicure...

I went for a manicure yesterday with sis. La Mer Spa Manicure at KL Hilton.

I had to rush home from work. Class was scheduled at the last minute. A Consultant from Egypt came to be the external Examiner for the Masters exams and gave us a few talks. I think i dozed off in between. What with the dark room, the blazing air-cond and the full tummy. Yaaaaawwwnnnn.... But his talk was very informative. It was just me who had attention span deficit.

Picked up sis at home. Did not even have time for tea and mingle around. Took the sardine-packed LRT.... Star and Putra to KL Sentral. That's the best option considering the traffic crawl at that hour. We arrived almost 30 minutes late. So, our manicure session was cut short. Bummer!!!!

But it was nice... having someone to massage your tired fingers, scrub the skin, polish the nails... warm tea, soothing music .... and a door gift which was a facial scrub. Woohoooooo!!!

My nails are shining and my hands soft, smooth and supple.

Debabnyaaaaa tangan...

Berkilat!! Tak pakai Cutex or whatsoever...

And it was all FREEE!!!! Can't wait for the facial session pulak.

We also asked lots and lots of questions regarding the product. The products are quite pricey, but i guess after some calculations, more or less about the same as other products like SKII, Dermalogica etc. But i love the moisturiser.... a simply must-try! I mean where can you find a product that moisturise, balance the oil, even the skin tone, reduce signs of ageing... all in one kan?

The "miracle" moisturiser.

The range of products.

AAAAHHHHH... Thank you for life little indulgences :)

Phacoemulsification...

This entry is a short one. Something of self-indulgence, self-motivation and a mark of career milestone.

I was very happy with myself yesterday. Was beaming from ear to ear. It was a sweet achievement. I made a bit of progress in my career and training.

I was surprised that i could do it at the first try. Maybe not the whole process, but a crucial one. Even Boss complimented. "Not bad for a first timer eh??". I guess sometimes, i underestimate myself.

I did grooving and a bit of phacoemulsification. That is the latest technique in cataract surgery. I felt proud of myself.... which does not come often. Hehehehe...

And due to moments like this, the passion for achieving greater success, keeps on burning.

Aminnnn...

Seven...

Remember that gory movie Seven acted by Bradd Pitt... where he was a cop and had to track down a serial killer? And in the end the killer killed his wife and left her head in a box and delivered it to him?

Nope... this has nothing to do with that!

I have been tagged!!!! After more than a year blogging, this is the first time ever that i was tagged!! Thanks to Id... a fellow blogger *wide grin*

7 things to do before I die

1. Perform Hajj
2. Buy a house... with half wooden, half brick walls, terracota porch and koi pond.
3. See other parts of the world... like Europe
4. Pay all my debts…. I managed to cut down my credit cards from 5 to 2… yippe!!
5. Learn how to swim... too shy to wear swimsuit, how??
6. Salji… nak tengok, nak genggam salji, pastu buat ais kepal… letak sirap and susu, pastu ssslluurrrppppp… pastu nak baling kat orang (no Bukit Cerakah won’t do)
7. Have a child

7 things I cannot and will NOT do....

1. Hurt Mak and Abah
2. Menyusahkan orang lain
3. Not be a doctor
4. Berhutang sana-sini
5. Yell at people
6. Mope around in self-pity
7. Pose naked in Playboy magazine… teehehehe..

7 things that attract me to the opposite sex...

1. Intelligence
2. Sense of humour… but not that Senario kind of humour la
3. Good personality
4. Responsible and respectful... of himself and others around him
5. Adventurous… and I am not just referring to the outdoors *wink wink*
6. Humble…. After all, kita semua asal dari kampung kan? I prefer those whom no matter how high their position in the corporate ladder, or how much euros they are making, still love tempoyak and sambal belacan..
7. Nice body... for me to hug.. *sheepish smile*

7 things I can't stand in others

1. Ketiak masam…. A TOTAL turn-off!
2. Ciggerette smoke… nicotine drives me nuts
3. Pengotor… eewwwww!!! * if you wanna know whether a person is pengotor or not, have a visit to their bathrooms and toilets.. Kalau bersih, then orang tu pembersih…*
4. Hypocrites… No.. bukan sepupu Hippocrates tu…Yang sickeningly sweet depan you, yet back-stab you from behind eenggg…enggg…engggg (sound-effect dari thriller cerita Psycho)
5. People who don’t flush!! These people should be banned from public toilets!!
6. Pandai bermulut manis / gives sugary talks…. Mulut kata I love you, tapi showed I don’t give a damn attitude!
7. Show-off!.... yang eksyen entah hape-hape. Suka puji diri sendiri, takbur, lepas tu memperlekehkan orng lain… eeiii.. benci benciiii!!!

7 things I say more often than others..

1. Thanks…
2. Huh?
3. Oohh.. ye ke?
4. Astaga…
5. Ek eleehhh…
6. Cehhh…
7. Alhamdulillah…

7 celebrities I have/had crushes on

1. Michael J foxx. … masa zaman Family Ties… told you I love guys with sense of humour
2. Rano Karno… masa zaman kegemilangan cite Indonesia kat tv
3. Johnny Depp… sejak zaman 21 jump street lagi tauuuu…
4. Bradd Pitt…. *Drrroolllll…*
5. Keanu Reeves… dalam cite Speed and Matrix je
6. Mamat dalam cite Smallville tu… apa namanya ekk?

Dan banyak lagi la… mana cukup 7 je…

Do i have to tag 7 more people? Dunno la nak tag sape. Not many people read my blog. Well, whoever nak tag him/herself... you are most welcome to do so.

HAPPY TAGGING!!

Boxing Day...

I know I should be writing about the Jalan Kuchai Lama scam, but what the heck. It’s my blog and I can write whatever I want, whenever I want. Kapishhh??

I never liked boxing. As much as I hated the WWF or any form of moronic brutality, ridiculously planned and staged barbaric form of physical abuse (did I just describe the WWF?). Look what happened to Mohamad Ali from all those punches… he developed Parkinson.

But I am not talking about that type of boxing, nor am I referring to that square thing you tear apart on Christmas, birthdays, anniversaries, special occasions, or during those desperate attempts to reconcile with your dearly beloved after comitting a major, major blunder, like when she discovered the hotel bills and room service bills *wink wink to Id*….. hehehehehe!.

Nope… not that one.

I am talking about something nice and soft. Something very light, that tingles your skin. Something that makes you feel secure, that protects your dignity. Something that clings to your body, hugging your flesh.

Something I just discovered, that I fell in love with.

Boxers…

Some people sleep in their undies, be it boxers, briefs or panties for the ladies. Some perefer pyjamas, shorts, or sexy lingerie.

It is said that the nightly uniform for Malaysian women would be the kaftan or what I like to call baju kelawar. Very airy, and cooling. It can also be used to seduce the guys especially if worn without the undergarments. Just flap the wings, expose some flesh especially that boobies area, and WALLA!!

I have a whole collection of kaftans… Malaysian made, Indonesian imported, winged ones, those with sleeves and without, batik prints, geometric prints etc. My cats are not seduced by them, except maybe Baby who likes to push her nose and sometimes paws between my bare, exposed armpit. I think she’s addicted to my smell.

Some wears the kain pelikat, or kain sarung batik.

Kain pelikat goes beyond ethnicity, I can tell you that. I remember my parents' front Chinese neighbour whom every morning without fail will be out unlocking his front gate, clad only in a kain pelikat, hair still messed up and if you get close enough, can view his ayaq lioq basi.

Kain pelikat is also good for men fertility. The cool air helps in producing healthy sperms. Scientifically proven.

Having said that, I would not recommend wearing kain pelikat at the parents house especially the newly-weds in case of sudden subconscious appearance of a hard-on. Singing Negaraku with that pole sticking out, I assure you, is a bad morning entertainment for the in-laws.

But having a sister who lives with me, and sometimes sleep in the same room with me, kaftan is not such a good idea. I do my salsa during sleep. The pillows will be strewn everywhere. My cats already learnt how to duck. I almost suffocated Tamtam once. And the kaftan will also fly above, and beyond…. if you know what I mean.

Therefore I resort to t-shirts and shorts whenever she's around. And when I saw that Hush Puppies boxers on sale, I decided to buy two. I mean they look like shorts. And it wasn’t that embarrassing for a woman to buy boxers, compared to the skimpy briefs for men. I am sure people would be thinking I was buying them for my hubby.

They felt like shorts… and even better!!! I liked it so much, I bought another 5 to complete my whole collection for an entire week. So I have one each for Monday till Sundays, just like those panties embroidered with days of the week.

Now I can salsa all I want at night, and not worry.

On the other hand, despite the comforts of all that, i still love sleeping in my own skin anytime.... Au naturalle!!

Happy Boxing everyone!!

Lost In Translation...

Malu bertanya, sesat jalan…

If you are too shy to ask for the way, you’re bound to get lost…

It happens to both us men and women. Only men do not admit it, due to their ego thang… if ya’ll know what I mean.

As for me, getting lost in KL, is as common as the flash flood forays in the Klang valley, or the motorcyclist zooming across the red traffic light, or me getting crushed in relationships (teehehehe… sempat lagi selit kisah cinta).

This is my re-enactment of self-exaggerated drama of a woman, lost in the maze of concrete jungles, never-ending highways, motorists hooligans, confusing signboards and her own insecurities.

Yesterday, I had to go to Jalan Kuchai Lama. Need to return some goods and get my refunds. I drove there once before, almost 2 months ago. Weekdays were too hectic, and Sunday is when most shops are closed including the one I was planning to go to. So Saturday was my only option. I remembered it was not too far from my place, a mere 15 minutes drive away. Of course then, I had someone to show me the direction.

I recalled the route vaguely. Get into the highway, pass thru a toll, turn to the right at a junction somewhere and that row of shops were on a sloping hill.

So I reached a highway, but got into the wrong junction, the toll was on the opposite side. Is that the correct toll plaza? Had to make a U turn somewhere in Kg. Salak Selatan…. Ehhh… suddenly the toll disappeared and I was on this long stretch of highway with cars speeding past by me as if practicing for the F1.

Ok…ok… need to make a U turn somewhere and go back to where I started….
Damn…. This road is endless….
Uhh…ohhh… a U turn… yeay!!

Got honked during the process of changing lanes….

Sorryyyyy… a lost lady commmmming through, make way…make waaaaay…. (Can I say the exact words during sex? Hehehehe…)

Toot…Toottttt…
OOiitttt!!!!… There are like 4 lanes on this road why do u have to use the one I am on… and stop hooting meeee!!! I gave you the signal, didn’t you see it??

Breathe in and out…. Ok ok… managed to make the U turn…
Where the hell is this heading to?? Tried to read the signboard while doing 8okm/hr… being short sighted didn’t help at all…
Cheras…. Yessss!!!!

Shiiittttt!!!! Missed the junction…

Ok… do not panic… find a road that’s familiar….. hmmm… Pusat Bandaraya, Cyberjaya, Putrajaya… aiyoooo mana nak pegi neeeiiii????
Sungai Besi… Seremban…. Istana Negara.... Should i? Should i?
Loke Yew…. Alaaaaas!!!!!! That’s a road I am familiar with…

Ok…(while trying to figure out where I went wrong just now)… Jalan Loke Yew….traffic light… da..di..dum…

JALAN KUCHINGGGGG???? I know Jalan Kuching but I was on the opposite direction, driving away from my place … WTF??…. Mana pulak nak pusing balik neeeiiiii??? Adooiiiiii….Lost again!!!

Should I go to Dataran Merdeka? There’s a roundabout there….
Oh man… this road is straight on…. Have no choice… got into exit to Jalan Sultan Ismail….

Tried to read every signboards yang terpacak along the way… KLCC… should I go towards KLCC? Jalan Ampang…. Adeehhhh…. ( I was already an hour on the road)

Ahhh... Jalan Bukit Bintang… I am familiar with that one… drive…drive…

Shitttttt!!!

Miss the junction!!!! ^&*^&%^$$...

Jalan Tun Perak?? Where the hell is that??
Ok…Ok… just follow the flow first. Thank God Saturday traffic was not too bad….

Jalan Hang Tuah… Aahhhh maybe I should follow the monorail… Jalan Pudu….

Yessss…. Finally found the road back home.

Back to starting point…. Contemplating… maybe I should get a cab to show me the way? But some taxi drivers may not know the way, and some may even purposely use a longer route so that they could charge passengers more…

But but… it looked so easy the first time I went. Ok… call someone…
Unfortunately, although being a Klite, the person whom I called did not know the route either. Can’t blame him though. Guys do not read maps. Period.

Ok… second try… need to fill some petrol just in case. The fuel indicator of my car had gone haywire since a few months back, typical of Proton laaa kan? First the sunscreen at the back jammed, then the passenger’s window, then the fuel indicator… I am definitely buying a Honda after this!! After that hour long drive… pretty sure a quarter of the tank is empty and I hadn’t a clue how much was left before.

As the saying goes…. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again…

Tried I did and I ended up back at Sungai Besi highway… I’ll be dammned!!! At that time I was changing lanes like a lunatic. A van refused to give way, I glared and almost, almoosssttt showed him my pinkie.. (yeah, I do not use the middle finger…. I am polite maahhh).

At that time, I felt like I had tawaf KL few times round, and I was going in circles!! Then that damn Jalan Kuching again…. But this time I was a bit smarter…. A bit laaa kan…Once bitten twice shy kata orang. I remembered a roundabout just before exiting to Jalan Duta. Back to Cheras again. It was almost 12…. My back hurt, not because of the 2 hours of driving but the feeling of being lost, helplessness, frustrations… (Macam wife yang tak dapat orgasm while the husband is snoring next to her with a big grin…. Contoh je laaaaa kan? Ehekss...)

Breathe in…. breathe out…. So what to do next? Try again? Go on another day with someone? Get a taxi driver to show the way? Lantak la dia nak charge berapa pun….

I am not a quitter… I am not a quitter…( those words kept echoing in my head)….
Ok… one last try….. Tawakkal neeii….
Well, for consolation, at least now I know which route NOT to take. A simple trial and error ( macam nak cari teman hidup la jugak kan? ).

Ok.. into the highway… at a junction, I went up instead as the other lane didn’t lead me anywhere. Toll… AAAGGHHHHH!!! I almost screamed in ecstasy (ini bukan cerita porn ye, Idham *wink*), dan dengan megahnya tertera… Jalan Kuchai Lama…. I felt like getting out of the car and kiss the signboard!! Literary!

And it did only took me 15 minutes. Although I missed another junction and ended up at some cowboy town, I managed to get to the Kuchai Lama Business Centre.

I was looking for Jalan 1/114…. Eh yang ni 1/247??? Mana pulak nak cari ni. I stopped at the gas station and asked the way…. Hmmm.. almost there..

And after another U turn, and 2.5 hours on the road, I finally reached my destination (another half hour, i would have reached my hometown in Perak!! Adeehhh..)

I laughed when I recalled the event yesterday. Perhaps it would have been easier if i had asked the way before i even begin my quest. I dunno how to translate it. Maybe my ego has turned into one of a man’s. Malas nak tanya, pakai redah aje… Maybe it was my sense of independence. Asking help from others demonstrates a form of weakness, which actually translate into my own insecurities.

Well, I guess life is like that. You are bound to get lost once in a while. And when you don’t have anyone to turn to, or any means to help you in your predicament, just follow your instinct and listen to your mind. You won’t get lost forever.

As for me, I learnt a big lesson too…..

NEED TO GET THAT DAAARRNN MAAAAPPPP!!!!!

Next entry: The Jalan Kuchai Lama scam...