Lost In Translation...
Malu bertanya, sesat jalan…
If you are too shy to ask for the way, you’re bound to get lost…
It happens to both us men and women. Only men do not admit it, due to their ego thang… if ya’ll know what I mean.
As for me, getting lost in KL, is as common as the flash flood forays in the Klang valley, or the motorcyclist zooming across the red traffic light, or me getting crushed in relationships (teehehehe… sempat lagi selit kisah cinta).
This is my re-enactment of self-exaggerated drama of a woman, lost in the maze of concrete jungles, never-ending highways, motorists hooligans, confusing signboards and her own insecurities.
Yesterday, I had to go to Jalan Kuchai Lama. Need to return some goods and get my refunds. I drove there once before, almost 2 months ago. Weekdays were too hectic, and Sunday is when most shops are closed including the one I was planning to go to. So Saturday was my only option. I remembered it was not too far from my place, a mere 15 minutes drive away. Of course then, I had someone to show me the direction.
I recalled the route vaguely. Get into the highway, pass thru a toll, turn to the right at a junction somewhere and that row of shops were on a sloping hill.
So I reached a highway, but got into the wrong junction, the toll was on the opposite side. Is that the correct toll plaza? Had to make a U turn somewhere in Kg. Salak Selatan…. Ehhh… suddenly the toll disappeared and I was on this long stretch of highway with cars speeding past by me as if practicing for the F1.
Ok…ok… need to make a U turn somewhere and go back to where I started….
Damn…. This road is endless….
Uhh…ohhh… a U turn… yeay!!
Got honked during the process of changing lanes….
If you are too shy to ask for the way, you’re bound to get lost…
It happens to both us men and women. Only men do not admit it, due to their ego thang… if ya’ll know what I mean.
As for me, getting lost in KL, is as common as the flash flood forays in the Klang valley, or the motorcyclist zooming across the red traffic light, or me getting crushed in relationships (teehehehe… sempat lagi selit kisah cinta).
This is my re-enactment of self-exaggerated drama of a woman, lost in the maze of concrete jungles, never-ending highways, motorists hooligans, confusing signboards and her own insecurities.
Yesterday, I had to go to Jalan Kuchai Lama. Need to return some goods and get my refunds. I drove there once before, almost 2 months ago. Weekdays were too hectic, and Sunday is when most shops are closed including the one I was planning to go to. So Saturday was my only option. I remembered it was not too far from my place, a mere 15 minutes drive away. Of course then, I had someone to show me the direction.
I recalled the route vaguely. Get into the highway, pass thru a toll, turn to the right at a junction somewhere and that row of shops were on a sloping hill.
So I reached a highway, but got into the wrong junction, the toll was on the opposite side. Is that the correct toll plaza? Had to make a U turn somewhere in Kg. Salak Selatan…. Ehhh… suddenly the toll disappeared and I was on this long stretch of highway with cars speeding past by me as if practicing for the F1.
Ok…ok… need to make a U turn somewhere and go back to where I started….
Damn…. This road is endless….
Uhh…ohhh… a U turn… yeay!!
Got honked during the process of changing lanes….
Sorryyyyy… a lost lady commmmming through, make way…make waaaaay…. (Can I say the exact words during sex? Hehehehe…)
Toot…Toottttt…
OOiitttt!!!!… There are like 4 lanes on this road why do u have to use the one I am on… and stop hooting meeee!!! I gave you the signal, didn’t you see it??
Breathe in and out…. Ok ok… managed to make the U turn…
Where the hell is this heading to?? Tried to read the signboard while doing 8okm/hr… being short sighted didn’t help at all…
Cheras…. Yessss!!!!
Shiiittttt!!!! Missed the junction…
Ok… do not panic… find a road that’s familiar….. hmmm… Pusat Bandaraya, Cyberjaya, Putrajaya… aiyoooo mana nak pegi neeeiiii????
Sungai Besi… Seremban…. Istana Negara.... Should i? Should i?
Loke Yew…. Alaaaaas!!!!!! That’s a road I am familiar with…
Ok…(while trying to figure out where I went wrong just now)… Jalan Loke Yew….traffic light… da..di..dum…
JALAN KUCHINGGGGG???? I know Jalan Kuching but I was on the opposite direction, driving away from my place … WTF??…. Mana pulak nak pusing balik neeeiiiii??? Adooiiiiii….Lost again!!!
Should I go to Dataran Merdeka? There’s a roundabout there….
Oh man… this road is straight on…. Have no choice… got into exit to Jalan Sultan Ismail….
Tried to read every signboards yang terpacak along the way… KLCC… should I go towards KLCC? Jalan Ampang…. Adeehhhh…. ( I was already an hour on the road)
Ahhh... Jalan Bukit Bintang… I am familiar with that one… drive…drive…
Ahhh... Jalan Bukit Bintang… I am familiar with that one… drive…drive…
Shitttttt!!!
Miss the junction!!!! ^&*^&%^$$...
Jalan Tun Perak?? Where the hell is that??
Ok…Ok… just follow the flow first. Thank God Saturday traffic was not too bad….
Jalan Hang Tuah… Aahhhh maybe I should follow the monorail… Jalan Pudu….
Ok…Ok… just follow the flow first. Thank God Saturday traffic was not too bad….
Jalan Hang Tuah… Aahhhh maybe I should follow the monorail… Jalan Pudu….
Yessss…. Finally found the road back home.
Back to starting point…. Contemplating… maybe I should get a cab to show me the way? But some taxi drivers may not know the way, and some may even purposely use a longer route so that they could charge passengers more…
But but… it looked so easy the first time I went. Ok… call someone…
Unfortunately, although being a Klite, the person whom I called did not know the route either. Can’t blame him though. Guys do not read maps. Period.
Ok… second try… need to fill some petrol just in case. The fuel indicator of my car had gone haywire since a few months back, typical of Proton laaa kan? First the sunscreen at the back jammed, then the passenger’s window, then the fuel indicator… I am definitely buying a Honda after this!! After that hour long drive… pretty sure a quarter of the tank is empty and I hadn’t a clue how much was left before.
As the saying goes…. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again…
Tried I did and I ended up back at Sungai Besi highway… I’ll be dammned!!! At that time I was changing lanes like a lunatic. A van refused to give way, I glared and almost, almoosssttt showed him my pinkie.. (yeah, I do not use the middle finger…. I am polite maahhh).
At that time, I felt like I had tawaf KL few times round, and I was going in circles!! Then that damn Jalan Kuching again…. But this time I was a bit smarter…. A bit laaa kan…Once bitten twice shy kata orang. I remembered a roundabout just before exiting to Jalan Duta. Back to Cheras again. It was almost 12…. My back hurt, not because of the 2 hours of driving but the feeling of being lost, helplessness, frustrations… (Macam wife yang tak dapat orgasm while the husband is snoring next to her with a big grin…. Contoh je laaaaa kan? Ehekss...)
Breathe in…. breathe out…. So what to do next? Try again? Go on another day with someone? Get a taxi driver to show the way? Lantak la dia nak charge berapa pun….
I am not a quitter… I am not a quitter…( those words kept echoing in my head)….
Ok… one last try….. Tawakkal neeii….
Well, for consolation, at least now I know which route NOT to take. A simple trial and error ( macam nak cari teman hidup la jugak kan? ).
Ok.. into the highway… at a junction, I went up instead as the other lane didn’t lead me anywhere. Toll… AAAGGHHHHH!!! I almost screamed in ecstasy (ini bukan cerita porn ye, Idham *wink*), dan dengan megahnya tertera… Jalan Kuchai Lama…. I felt like getting out of the car and kiss the signboard!! Literary!
And it did only took me 15 minutes. Although I missed another junction and ended up at some cowboy town, I managed to get to the Kuchai Lama Business Centre.
Back to starting point…. Contemplating… maybe I should get a cab to show me the way? But some taxi drivers may not know the way, and some may even purposely use a longer route so that they could charge passengers more…
But but… it looked so easy the first time I went. Ok… call someone…
Unfortunately, although being a Klite, the person whom I called did not know the route either. Can’t blame him though. Guys do not read maps. Period.
Ok… second try… need to fill some petrol just in case. The fuel indicator of my car had gone haywire since a few months back, typical of Proton laaa kan? First the sunscreen at the back jammed, then the passenger’s window, then the fuel indicator… I am definitely buying a Honda after this!! After that hour long drive… pretty sure a quarter of the tank is empty and I hadn’t a clue how much was left before.
As the saying goes…. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again…
Tried I did and I ended up back at Sungai Besi highway… I’ll be dammned!!! At that time I was changing lanes like a lunatic. A van refused to give way, I glared and almost, almoosssttt showed him my pinkie.. (yeah, I do not use the middle finger…. I am polite maahhh).
At that time, I felt like I had tawaf KL few times round, and I was going in circles!! Then that damn Jalan Kuching again…. But this time I was a bit smarter…. A bit laaa kan…Once bitten twice shy kata orang. I remembered a roundabout just before exiting to Jalan Duta. Back to Cheras again. It was almost 12…. My back hurt, not because of the 2 hours of driving but the feeling of being lost, helplessness, frustrations… (Macam wife yang tak dapat orgasm while the husband is snoring next to her with a big grin…. Contoh je laaaaa kan? Ehekss...)
Breathe in…. breathe out…. So what to do next? Try again? Go on another day with someone? Get a taxi driver to show the way? Lantak la dia nak charge berapa pun….
I am not a quitter… I am not a quitter…( those words kept echoing in my head)….
Ok… one last try….. Tawakkal neeii….
Well, for consolation, at least now I know which route NOT to take. A simple trial and error ( macam nak cari teman hidup la jugak kan? ).
Ok.. into the highway… at a junction, I went up instead as the other lane didn’t lead me anywhere. Toll… AAAGGHHHHH!!! I almost screamed in ecstasy (ini bukan cerita porn ye, Idham *wink*), dan dengan megahnya tertera… Jalan Kuchai Lama…. I felt like getting out of the car and kiss the signboard!! Literary!
And it did only took me 15 minutes. Although I missed another junction and ended up at some cowboy town, I managed to get to the Kuchai Lama Business Centre.
I was looking for Jalan 1/114…. Eh yang ni 1/247??? Mana pulak nak cari ni. I stopped at the gas station and asked the way…. Hmmm.. almost there..
And after another U turn, and 2.5 hours on the road, I finally reached my destination (another half hour, i would have reached my hometown in Perak!! Adeehhh..)
I laughed when I recalled the event yesterday. Perhaps it would have been easier if i had asked the way before i even begin my quest. I dunno how to translate it. Maybe my ego has turned into one of a man’s. Malas nak tanya, pakai redah aje… Maybe it was my sense of independence. Asking help from others demonstrates a form of weakness, which actually translate into my own insecurities.
Well, I guess life is like that. You are bound to get lost once in a while. And when you don’t have anyone to turn to, or any means to help you in your predicament, just follow your instinct and listen to your mind. You won’t get lost forever.
As for me, I learnt a big lesson too…..
NEED TO GET THAT DAAARRNN MAAAAPPPP!!!!!
Next entry: The Jalan Kuchai Lama scam...
posted by marina at 8:03 AM
