Time heals all wounds...

Breaking-up is hard to do. Letting go is even harder.

I have been bawling my eyes out these past couple of days. On that heart-wrenching day, I did not go to work. I was too heart broken, devastated, stunned, angry…. all those mixed feelings engulfed me. I just froze in time.

I cried till my eyes turned puffy. I tried to distract myself by doing housework, anything as long as I could forget. I cleaned the house, mopped, vacuumed, scrubbed the bathroom tiles, ironed clothes. My house was spick and span, but I could not stop myself from sobbing in between those tasks. And when I finally rested, the memories came flooding back, and I was too weak to stop those tears from falling again. I cried so hard, I think my cries echoed the entire house.

I had to work the next day, as I do not have any more excuse not to go to work. At work, on and off I will be lost in my own world, staring blankly with glassy eyes. Whenever I am alone, my heart start to sink further and further deep in the abyss of the unknown.

How can I forget? Things that he left behind reminded me of him. But as much as our relationship had changed, so are the things that he left behind. The shower head he helped me fixed, has gone rusty. The pepper-spray he gave me, probably has expired. The restaurant we first had our meal together, is closing and moving to another place as a condominium project is under way. Perhaps that is a sign. Telling me that life has to go on, no matter where you are, no matter what the circumstances are.

It had been almost a week now. My heart still aches. And the tears still flow.

Time heals all wounds. But this time, the cut is much deeper.