Bad Day...

A lot of things have happened these past few days. Work had been hectic, in fact killing me, almost. Was on-call for 2 consecutive days. Monday was busy… as I was the only senior around, running my own clinic and managing cases in casualty.

Yibbe my darling cat had been sick the last couple of days. He was pale, lost his appetite, depressed. On Sunday, I noticed he was staring blankly at his water bowl, but at that time the vet has closed. I was praying hard that he will last the night. I almost cried seeing him like that. How could I have been so ignorant? He survived that Parvovirus attack last year. But I am sure that would have affected his immune status. Can he survive this one? Whatever bug that has attacked him, was almost winning the battle.

After work, I rushed to the vet. It was blood parasite, from the fleas. I remembered spraying all the cats with anti-flea. How can he have any fleas? He has stopped roaming after the spay.

The vet took a peripheral blood film, and diagnosed the blood parasite. I think a few vets recognized me as I regularly bring my cats there for vaccinations and stuff, cat food etc. The last time I brought Yibbe, the vet asked me what I do. I told them, I am a human doctor but veterinarian was previously one of the choices for my future career. That brought smiles to everyone there.

The vet prescribed some medicine, but looking at Yibbe’s condition, I requested for him to be admitted, to start intravenous fluids, intravenous antibiotics, and to do more blood tests. Actually not requested, but demanded. I can be a difficult mommy sometimes.

Tuesday was even worse. I was missing my poor Yibbe, and worrying about him. I was on-call and the day was worse than Monday. An emergency case of a globe rupture came in. It needed surgery, and I anticipated a long one.

We finally managed to get anaesthesia at 11pm… the wound was very extensive. Took me 4 bloody hours, and that was with the help of my Specialist whom even with a young baby, agreed to come over at the wee hours to help out. God bless her for that.

I was sleepy and all pumped out. The tiredness from yesterday, and piles of work during the day, was taking its toll. But as doctors, we are supposed to serve. No matter what. We are not supposed to get tired, or get angry, or get sleepy. Patients are always the priority.

We finished at 3am… it was too late for me to drive home, and dangerous too. Anything can happen at the parking area, or on the way home. A colleague had her car rear hit by another at 11.30pm. What if it was a planned robbery? What if she got raped? Furthermore, at that hour, there won’t be any more parking space left at my apartment. But do people know about the hardship and the problems us medical personnel face, in order to serve the public? Nope, and they do not bother to know. We are supposed to shut up, face the harsh reality. The word money, or better salary, or better perks must never surface or we will sound materialistic and an ungrateful bunch.

I slept in the on-call room. Hardly slept anyway. Woke up at 6.30am… did my subuh, and drove home. Then back to work, rounds, more work. Luckily, afternoon was less hectic. I was not on-call, but the juniors did not spare me of course. I helped as much as I could, but I was groggy, my head was heavy, and I had raccoon eyes.

Yibbe can finally go home. So went to pick him up. Driving in my state was dangerous, and I was fighting to keep awake. But do I have any choice? Have to manage everything myself as usual.

Reached home at almost 4pm. I zonked out. I slept like a log, with Yibbe lying next to me. And all the other cats joined me in my bed. The air-cond was at full blast. The bed and pillows were so comforting. Woke up at 6pm. Damn… I missed my massage appointment. Had to reschedule. Went back to sleep…. Woke up at 10pm. Missed maghrib!! And missed half of American idol!! Dammmnnnn!!!! I was really, really looking forward to watch the finale. Only managed to watch the last half. I think Taylor aced it, but the soul patrol thing was irritating. Kat is as always, had the wrong songs except one.

Was online reading some blogs and discovered a shocking news about someone. Unable to get it off my mind, drifted to sleep with bad thoughts.

Today, I was hoping for a better day. The week is almost over. Yibbe looks better though not completely cured. Sis has gone back to hometown since Monday, so I had to tend to all the cats, healthy and sick.

Unfortunately, all my positive outlooks crashed to ground zero. Had a complication during operation. Though it was manageable and the harm was not that serious, I still felt like a shithead! Even Boss was ok with it.

“Don’t worry, it was part of the learning curve. Hey, at least it happened when I am around”

He was reassuring me, but I still felt bad. Too hard on myself perhaps?

And then the endless sms’es from that someone. I was simply pointing out a fact which may or may not be true. But he turned defensive and all riled up. Bullshit, gila bodoh, padan muka, patut la selalu kena tipu… yeah, those were his exact words. I was indeed stupid and crazy for falling for a man like that.

Then other Boss was complaining because I did not help him out in his clinic. He was creating so much havoc that even Ex-Boss knew about it. He had only 8 patients, and even that, only 4 turned up. FOUR F******G PATIENTS!!!!! What did he need me for?

The last time I helped him, he left me halfway, going off at 10.30am, and I was there till waaayyy past lunch hour sorting out his patients, and i am not even directly under his team. I knew he was pissed because he wanted to leave early, to cater for his own private clinic, in which he is earning much more than this stunted government hospital. Thank god, I am leaving this center soon. Tired with all the bureucracies.

I am pissed, i am knackered , my spirit is at the lowest of the low, and i could hear Daniel Powter crooning the song Bad Day in the background.

Sometimes the system goes on the bling

And the whole thing turns out wrong

You might not make it back and you know

That you could be well oh that strong

And I'm not wrong

Because you had a bad day

You're taking one down

You sing a sad song just to turn it around

You say you don't know

You tell me don't lie

You work at a smile and you go for a ride

You had a bad day

The camera don't lie

You're coming back down and you really don't mind

You had a bad day

YOU HAD A BAD DAY!!!!!