Wedding Blues...

I never liked weddings...


When I was small, I hated weddings.

That was when I had to be the ‘bunga telur’ girl.

I was shy.

Giving out eggs to strangers was not my forte. Even when most of the strangers are in some way, related to my roots.

We didn’t have towels, or sweets, or mini potpourris, or wedding goodie bags back then. Just eggs…. Hard boiled eggs. Grandma used to make delicious egg curry with them left over cracked eggs… yuummmm.

When I was a teenager, I still hated weddings.

That was when all the pakciks and makciks and wan and tokcik were asking….

‘Anok daghe sape ni komeee?? ( I was pimple laden, still shy gal then)

‘Udoh besor bebenorrr’ (yeah, I was chubby. The baby fat stays on till this very day).

‘Udoh boleh kawen niiiii…’ (errr… hello, I was on my way to a higher institute of learning, not jadi tukang kutip kain pelikat kotor, or tukang kemas suratkhabar, or tukang basuh bontot budak…. Okkkk)


When I was a young adult, I hated weddings even more…

Kamu ni bila lagi? Jangan la memilih sangat…

Takkan boifren pun takde kut…

Aiks… belajar tak habis-habis lagi ke?


And when my friends’ younger sisters and brothers started having their weddings too, i just stopped attending them...

I made myself busy all the time… even when I was not. That was one of those moments I took full advantage of being a doctor.

My parents had long stopped asking me to come along.

I started sending wedding gifts thru mail.

I missed my cousins wedding, did not even bother to look at the ‘gubahan hantaran’ or wedding photos…

I skipped that wedding segment in Nona.

I stopped reading about weddings in magazines.

I think it had been ages since I attended a wedding, that I have forgotten why I hated it in the first place…


But yesterday, I went to one. One of my staff’s daughters got married…

As an HOD, I felt obliged to go.

The kenduri was buffet style. I ate at a table, alone.

All around me were families. Young couples with kids. Old couples with teenage children.

My young staffs came with their young wives and babies…..

And it all came back.



It made me feel awkward.

It made me feel embarrassed.

It made me feel inadequate.



I hate weddings….