The Letter

I found this letter in my mailbox today

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Dearest Marina,

It has been a long time since I last wrote to you. I`ve been concerned about you. Your health has been deteriorating. You`re shutting yourself out from the outside world. Are you in hibernation again??

Wake up girl!!!!! I know you are worried, upset and not feeling like yourself lately. But don`t do this to yourself.

I know you have been fascinated by this new hobby. Different isn`t it?? From the previous one. Like reading short stories ala Chicken Soup For The Soul. At least it is more educational. Learnt some big words. And yes…. you`ve started to write again.

It is a wonderful feeling to be able to share, to relate yourself to others, to spill out your heart`s content, to feel like you are part of the ‘gang’. I know you have been dreamy eyed since a little girl. But it is all superficial. And that`s reality!!!

Please don`t get carried away darling. I see that you`re addicted now. That has happened before with the previous one. You need the cold turkey treatment. Oh you bet your arse …..yessssss you do!!!!… No amount of nicotine patch can help you with this one. At the end of the day, you`ll have to answer to no one but thy self and of course, The Almighty.

Aaahhhh… and yes, that ‘other’ thing. Are you sure about it?? Stay sober. Don`t get drunk with the sweet promises, the empty hopes, the enchanting words. In the end, it is always you who end up hurt. Do you think its worth it?? Do you want to go through another emotional roller-coaster?? You`ve just patched that broken heart of yours. And that ‘gam gajah’ ain`t even dry yet.

It`s just not your nature to be selfish dear. Never hurt another person for the sake of your happiness. Remember, what goes around, comes around. Whatever that you do to others, it`ll get back at you, right smack in the face.

Dear girl,

I know you have been drifted and distracted. That is why I am here today. To give you that wake up call. I want you to read this everyday, before u sleep and the first thing after you wake up (of course after the doa and rituals).

Be more responsible to yourself.

Remember your mission. You have sweated it out for 7 years dear…. Been working like a log for the past 3 yrs… committed yourself in this institution for the past 2 ½ years. There are only 2 more years to go, then you can have a breather and move on. I know you don`t like to stay put in a place for long. Though KL has a lot to offer, with all its exotic eccentricities, after a while, it does get boring. Besides, nothing worth staying here for, huh??

Be strong, like you always have.

Take one step at a time. Live the day the best you can. Work hard, work smart. I know you`re not that studious type, but you`re here for the challenge, remember? You`ve set the goal. You`re not a quitter, Marina.

Be grateful with what you have.

For the air that you breathe.
For the good health.
For the family that loves you.
For the friends whom supported you. I know you envy them in silence. Good husbands and wives, nice homes, adorable kids. They have been there for you…well, maybe not all the time. But times when you needed them most. Z was there ransacking your house looking for your spare keys when your bag was stolen. H drove you to the police station in the middle of the night to make police report. C stayed with you at the hotel even though her hubby kept calling. Those meant something kan?? There are more people who love you than you`re aware of.
Be grateful for the job that u have. Many people would die for it. Though I honestly think many would change their minds if they only knew what this job is all about.
Be thankful for everything that you have, and for all the things you are going to have in the days to come. Insyaallah…

Be a better person.

Be less judgmental, less egoistic, less sarcastic, less bitter, less dreamy, less gullible, less temperamental, less emotional. Be more humble, more honest, more efficient, more trusting, more respectful, more loving, more generous. Be nicer, kinder to you and those around you.

Be a good servant to God.

Take care of your solat dear, for that is the essence of everything. Never forget to ask God for forgiveness. Do as much good to others, and pray that Allah will forgive your misdeeds, past, present and future.
I know you envy those who have travelled, seen other parts of the world. You feel like you`ve been cooped up, done nothing. But remember your trip to the Holy land? Not everyone has that privilege dear. If you were to die tomorrow, I am sure it is without any regrets.
Remember when the tears flowed hard the first time you saw Kaabah? Remember when you wrote your name at Jabbal Rahmah?? Remember that serene, tranquil feeling whenever you listen to the Azan in Masjidil Haram?
Never give up hope on God dear. He always listen. He has a peculiar way of doing things, in His own time. Everything happens for a reason. In the end, perhaps, you will understand.

Be a good daughter.

I know you have not always agreed with mak and abah. I know sometimes mak butting into your love life, and almost everything else, can be irritating and frustrating. When you were younger, you were vying for their attention but they were always too busy to notice. Now that you`ve grown up, it is them who couldn`t let go. But they have been your pillars, your second Kaabah. And for that you must cherish them with all your heart.

Be happy Marina….

I know life has not been all bed of roses. But with all the trials and tribulations, it makes you who you are today.


I think i`ll end my letter here. Hope you feel better. I shall come back whenever you need me, with ever good and comforting words.

Till we meet again.



Lots of love,

Yourself