PAS...

Errrrr...... nothing political.


Really....






Yeap... I PASSED!!!

I'm sorry this posting came late. I'm sure a few people out there have been dying to know ( A handful je la kan...). My streamyx has gone kaput. I called TmNet 3 times, and they still can't figure out what is wrong. Cheeehhh!!!!

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Six of us took the exams, only 3 came out with tears of joy. It was indeed a tough, tough exam, mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting. Something no one in the right mind would want to go through again. My friend H said... this was worse than labour ... and she has 3 kids.

Remember my dear friend Z? Whose husband had a girlfriend? She didn't make it. She is as competent as i am, perhaps even more knowledgeable. But luck has it that she had an uncooperative patient and a difficult case. Out of all 8 sections, she only failed in one. But exams are exams, and failing one section is failing all. My fear for her is that her husband might grow more impatient as she has to sit for the exams again in 6 months time. The reason he gave last time for falling for another woman was because she was too busy with work and studies that he felt neglected. I feel so afraid for her.

I dunno why, but when my professor gave the results to me, i just hugged her and cried. Then, I cried even more. I just couldn't stop crying that day.

I prayed hard that the examiners only asked me things that i know. It is impossible to know everything. And they did. I prayed that the cases that i get are simple enough for me, and they were. I prayed that the patients i get will be cooperative, and yes, they were fantastic patients. One even wished me good luck during the exams. I prayed hard that i'll pass, and i did...

I have to confess, that i am a last-minute person. Something that i failed to change ever since i could remember. Be it in studies, be it in anything (kahwin pun last minute la kut, kan kan??). Somehow, that adrenaline rush makes me work better or think clearer. Perhaps i work better under stress. Well, that is at least what i think of myself. But if i had studied harder, or earlier, perhaps i could have done better. Something i kept promising myself, but never achieved.... (something like losing those extra pounds la... kekekeke)

So when i passed, somehow i felt God was too kind to me. If there was a person who had to fail, it should be me instead of Z. She had sacrificed so much, plus all those emotional turmoil she had to endure regarding her husband. I felt so undeserving. Especially since i had not been His utmost pious, loyal and truthful follower. I had too many shares of mistakes and sins. I felt so ashamed. I felt so small.

Indeed, Allah itu Maha Pemurah lagi Maha Mengasihani.

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Sitting for the exam again is like putting a halt to your life for the next 6 months. You can't enjoy movies, can't spend time outing too long, can't read something non-academic without feeling guilty, have to control onself from so many distractions, etc. etc. especially when you have failed the first time around. That was how i felt when i failed my Part 1 exams. Good luck Z, I'll always be here when you need me.

Now,

I can blog all i want

I can chat all i want

I can watch as many movies as i want

I can go dating with as many people as i want (sekoq pun tadak, nak berlagak... chaaiitt!!!)

I can read story books

I can watch VCD cetak rompak

I can watch TV.... Alias, Desperate Housewives, The OC, Lost etc. etc

I can...

I can...

I can get married.... (Oiittt!! Will you snap out of it girl!!!)

Hehehehehee...

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Life is wonderful again...