Anak Abah II

My Abah is the gentlestest (pencemaran bahasa) man I know, especially towards his 2 daughters, although he himself had a hard life since small.

He was born to arwah Opah and Atuk back when Jepun sedang menyerang Malaya.

Opah once told me, “Askar Jepun tu nyoghok bawoh ghumoh (the Japs hid under the house). Semua oghang senyaaapp aje le, takut bebenor deme naik ataih (everyone kept quiet, too afraid that the Japs will enter the house).” My grandparent’s house has high pillars. Kira boleh la nak main masak-masak or parking kereta bawah rumah tu.

Atuk pulak, being the imam and bilal of the kampong, used to mandikan orang yang kena bunuh dek Jepun ni. Atuk told me… in one instance, he had to wash someone’s intestine, then put everything back inside the dead person’s stomach. Atuk demam the next day.

Arwah Atuk worked in the kapal korek in Batu Gajah. At that time, the area was prosperous with tin. However not prosperous for Abah’s family. Kira kais pagi, makan pagi. Kais petang, makan petang. But it was the norm at that time. Everybody else was poor too.

Subuh Atuk will go menoreh, and Abah tagged along sometimes. Kalau tak sekolah, Abah will kutip getah sekerap untuk belanja poket. Then later during the day, Atuk left for the tin mines, coming back late at night. The hard work took its toll on Atuk’s knees. I think he had osteoarthritis after years of standing and soaking in the water. He used to buy painkillers from the singseh. I think those medicine damaged his kidneys. I had just entered science matriculation when Atuk passed away. His kidneys failed him.

Being the not so educated people back then, Atuk still had his vision. He wanted his kids to masuk sekolah omputeh. Despite sindiran jiran-jiran lain. Mak We who is Abah’s elder sister, went to English school. But she married early and that was the end of her formal education. Abah’s younger brothers all entered sekolah aliran Inggeris and boarding school. Tapi tak berapa menjadi. I guess one appreciate things more when it is harder to come by.

Abah completed his secondary school, but could not continue further to form 6. They simply could not afford it. Ada 3 more siblings nak sekolah. Atuk instilled the importance of education to all his children. Just like that trait sayangkan binatang, Abah inherited that from Atuk and passed on to us children.

“Orang zaman dulu bukannya tak pandai. Cuma takde peluang. Miskin… macam Abah dulu” Abah said.

I remember Opah telling me,

“Bukannye Opah tak bagi Abah kome ngaji tinggi-tinggi, tapi takde duit. Kesian juge Opah tengok abah kome sekolah jauh. Berbatu-batu naik basikaa. Ada sekali tu, Opah ingatkan abah kome udoh balik, dengo bunyi basikaa die. Tapi lepaih tu senyap je. Opah pegi le nengok ape ke haa(hal) budok ni, ghopenye(rupanya) abah kome udoh terbaghing kat tangge. Letih bebenor. Udoh tak sempat masuk ke ghomah,” I saw tears bergenang kat mata Opah masa tu.

Abah never gave up. At age 38 with 2 kids in tow, he accepted the offer to continue his degree in TESL UPM. Siap masuk suratkhabar, mahasiswa tua. Hehehehe... Mak still kept the newspaper clipping. Although many told off Abah, even his siblings… Dah tua pun nak belajar lagi?? Abah proved to everyone. He was the first and only University graduate in his family.

Abah took after arwah Atuk in almost everything. His looks, his demeanor, gentleness, his quietness, his wisdom, his love for cats. But Abah is of course not perfect. He is not romatic or lovey dovey guy. He is the total opposite from Mak. Mak is loud, he is quiet. Mak is extrovert, Abah introvert. Mak loves the limelight and attention, Abah prefers to stay in the background and observe. Whenever Mak starts to nag, Abah will keep quiet and pretend reading the newpaper. Mak will get frustrated and stopped on her own. It worked everytime. Hehehehe… (Abah memang terer bab psikologi ni).

Mak have a small pelvic bone, so natural childbirth was impossible for her. After the second Csection to deliver my sister, the obstetrician told Abah, it would be dangerous for Mak to have a 3rd operation. Abah agreed for Mak to have tubal ligation there and then, though Mak was still young. At 32 she could still have more kids.

“Abah tak nyesal ke takde anak lelaki?” I asked. His answer was simple “Sama je anak lelaki, anak perempuan. Yang penting bila besar, jadi orang yang berguna”.

Abah is not an affectionate person. He doesn’t hug or kiss us. But my sis and I know he loves us very much.

Sometimes Abah show his love and concern in a funny way. What I wrote in my previous blog is just an example of his antics. He used to buy me diet pills la, slimmimg bengkung la, never giving up though i had, many times over. But whenever i balik kampung, he'll buy all those food that i love. Cam mana ni Bah?? How to kurus laaa like dat??

He was the one who signed me up for driving class. Who encouraged me to further my studies.

"Orang perempuan kena berdikari. Jangan nak mengharap kat suami je"

Yup, that's my Abah.

To all the Abah, Ayah, Papa, Bapak, Daddy, Abi… love thy daughters and teach them well.

Dearest Abah…. I love you.